Monster no Goshujin-sama - Volume 6 - Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Enigmatic Smile ~Mad Beast’s POV~

I wandered aimlessly through the mountains, using routes that humans never tread. It wasn’t particularly hard for me. I was used to walking down trackless paths. All I ever used lately were trails through dense forests.

I had memories, but despite how recent they were supposed to be, I could only remember fragments. Regardless, it proved that I had a past. I’d journeyed to seek help. I’d been starving, parched, and wounded. And still, I’d continued walking.

But what about now? What was I walking toward now? I didn’t know. I had no destination. I didn’t even have a purpose.

I didn’t know. I just didn’t know. I didn’t know a single thing. I’d lost my ability to know.

“Something” inside me had been fatally lost. That was why I knew nothing now.

But wait...was that really true? Suddenly, I began to doubt. I didn’t know what this doubt was, though. My mental faculties had degraded considerably, and I couldn’t figure out what it was, but I still remembered the time when I first came to this world.

◆ ◆ ◆

In the beginning, the only thing in my heart was bewilderment. But the moment I found out I was in another world, I was filled with excitement. When I found out that I’d also acquired power, my elation grew. I was especially thrilled when the leader of the exploration team, Nakajima Kojirou, addressed us.

“I won’t accept a ‘game over’ like this.”

“Everyone has to join forces.”

“I need your strength. Come with us.”

I couldn’t remember what the exact situation had been, but I faintly recalled him saying those things to a large group. It was like something straight out of a grand adventure. Everyone who listened to him, including myself, engrossed themselves in battle. Our ordinary and boring lives were over. Something new and exciting had begun.

I became a member of the exploration team and started fighting to protect the Colony.

No...that wasn’t quite right.

That wasn’t right at all.

Fighting to protect others was just some kind of self-aggrandizing excuse.

It was fun.

I was simply having fun.

There were eccentrics among us, like Iino Yuna who genuinely fought with righteous indignation, but for the most part, everyone was like me. It was fun to wield such extraordinary power. It was exhilarating to mow down monsters with our own hands.

However, that exhilaration only lasted for the first week. After that, apprehension gradually took over. What was going to happen to us? Those thoughts spurred my anxiety until it became unbearable. Regardless, at least on the surface, I had to match what everyone else was doing. And all that brought me was pain.

Miho, who I’d known since childhood, probably saw through my inner turmoil. She was worried about me.

Right, I have Miho with me... Thus, I came to believe that I’d gained my power for the express reason of protecting Miho—to protect my first love. Some small part of me realized I was mistaken. I didn’t try to protect Miho because I was in love with her. I fell in love with her because I needed a reason to protect her.

That was wrong. It was twisted. Be that as it may, all I could do was cling to those thoughts.

Maybe it was a given that I hadn’t been able to protect her.

My desire to protect Miho had been askew from the beginning.

I didn’t know what I should’ve been doing. I didn’t know how I should’ve been acting. I had known nothing from the very beginning.

That was why I’d failed.

What should I have done, really?

What did I want to do?

I don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. I don’t know anything.

The only thing that came to mind was Miho’s smile, now so very far away.

“How unsightly you are, Takaya Jun.”

And as I continued walking with my mind in a haze, I heard a sudden voice, bringing me back to the present and halting my march.

◆ ◆ ◆

A familiar boy stood in my path. Even if I weren’t as enormous as I was now, I still would have thought he had a very slender build. By his side was a tall, virile boy. Well, a monster imitating one at least. To his other side was a shadowy humanoid monster with blades instead of arms, watching me vigilantly. A dozen or so other monsters also gathered around him.

“Majima-senpai is so spectacular. That’s no exaggeration. There is no way a failure like you can possibly win against him. You don’t even know what you want to do, and you don’t understand your own wish.”

Unfortunately, I couldn’t understand what he was saying. All I knew was that he was making fun of me. It didn’t make me angry, though. Had I become so empty that even that basic emotion had left me? Or maybe I agreed with his reasons for making fun of me.

I didn’t know.

It didn’t really matter.

“Baring your fangs at Majima-senpai... Such a conceited sin deserves certain death.”

The boy casually raised his hand, and all the monsters around him stood at the ready. Their movements were organized, like those of trained soldiers. With a single command, they were sure to swoop down on me. There were over a dozen of them. I couldn’t possibly win in my wounded state.

Even though I knew this, I didn’t try to think of a way out. I didn’t even feel like complaining. Danger was before me, but my heart was as still as it could be. On the contrary, I actually felt relieved. All the pain, the suffering, the sorrow, the regret—everything would come to an end. That was why I didn’t try to run away. All I did was look down at the ground, defenseless.

The boy smiled, watching me stand there perfectly still with no reaction.

“Even if I leave you be, you’ll die in the not-so-distant future, but...I did find you here and all. I might as well finish you off right now.”

With this, it would all be over...

“That’s what I’d like to do, but killing you is a bit of a waste.”

The atmosphere suddenly changed. At the boy’s command, the monsters withdrew all at once. Regardless, I didn’t care. I didn’t react. I just continued standing there.

“There is worth in that power of yours.”

The boy held out his hand. I could see it at the edge of my vision. I still didn’t feel like reacting, though.

“You’re just going to rot away and die anyway. In that case, be of use to me instead.”

Nothing he said would change anything. I would just continue standing there until—

“If you do, I’ll grant your wish.”

I...I raised my head. For some reason, just those words managed to slip their way into my consciousness.

“How about it?”

An enigmatic smile took shape on the boy’s slender face.

Even if I’d had any remaining intelligence, I wouldn’t have been able to read his intentions. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. There wasn’t a single thing about him that made me trust him. However, mysteriously enough, he didn’t look like he was lying. That was why I listened to him.

“I promise you. If you become mine and work for me, I’ll grant your wish one day.”

The image of Miho’s smile came to mind.

A wish.

My wish.

I wanted... I wanted to... Miho...

“Looks like you’ve decided.”

By the time I realized it, it was already too late. I couldn’t escape this boy’s words.

“Cast away everything. Hand it all over to me.”

His words violated my very being.

“That is the price of your wish.”

“G-Grrr...”

What little I had left spilled from my grasp. My hazy consciousness came undone. I was already in the process of losing everything. It wouldn’t have been much longer until I lost it all.

As my existence faded away...he affixed a “collar” around my neck.

“Oh. Just as I thought. My power really worked,” the master of the collar said, looking up at me. “Heh heh heh. How amusing monsters are. What exactly are visitors from afar? No. What are humans to begin with? There’s so much I still don’t know about this world.”

The boy continued to speak, but I could no longer tell what he was saying. The minute part within me that was still me was pretty much gone.

“My king, what are you thinking...?”

As I was on the verge of disappearing, I heard a voice. It sounded male, but it was also terrifyingly inorganic and emotionless.

“You claim the second king is not your enemy, but then you promise to grant this mad beast’s wish. Which statement is true?”

“Who knows?” a mysterious voice replied with laughter. “I merely act to fulfill my goals.”

I didn’t understand.

In all likelihood, nobody in the world could understand him.

It all felt somehow sad to me.