Majo no Tabitabi - Volume 15 - Chapter 1.25

CHAPTER 1 STORY 25

Mirror, Oh Mirror

In a certain land, there was an extremely beautiful princess.

She was so beautiful that if you were to look up the word beautiful in one of that country’s dictionaries, the entry would say something outrageous like: Did you mean Her Highness?

Because of her overwhelming beauty, the people, without exception, even prostrated themselves whenever they were in front of her. Hers was a beauty beyond description.

One day, the princess, who wielded such terrible beauty, found herself troubled.

“…Why is it that I haven’t been able to marry, when I am so beautiful?”

That’s right, she was searching for a marriage partner.

The world’s most beautiful princess was aware of her own beauty, but she was so unpopular, it was hard to believe it. The men of her country all just prostrated themselves when they were before her. She hadn’t had any luck meeting her soulmate.

And why on earth not?

“Could it be that there is a woman more beautiful than me…?”

The reason why the princess wasn’t popular with men was simply that she was of much too high a status, and the common people all thought it was presumptuous to approach her. But the princess had a slightly strange sense of the world.

And so the princess turned to her mirror and mumbled to herself.

As she touched her marvelous, mysterious mirror, which could speak human language, she mumbled—

“Mirror, oh mirror, tell me just who is the most beautiful in the world?”

The mirror, which had been reflecting the beautiful princess, responded to her words. It answered, showing her a new scene.

“That’s right, it’s me.”

There in the mirror was the image of a beautiful young woman with ash-gray hair.

“Wow, thanks to you, Miss Witch, our company’s performance is through the roof! I can’t stop smiling!”

The fairies of the forest were all fawning over me just like that. I’ll have to back up several weeks to describe how I came to butt into the small business that several of them were operating.

As I was traveling through a forest, I’d overheard several middle-aged fairy men complaining to one another.

“Look at us… Our architecture skills are top rate, and yet we can’t sell a thing…”

Oh my goodness, some kind of trouble?

I approached them to satisfy my curiosity, and when I asked, they answered, “Well, as a matter of fact, we’re architects, but we keep building house after house only for those damn wolves to blow them all down, one after the other. Our clients, the pigs, are starting to complain.”

Well, that is awful.

Then I realized I could offer them a little bit of wisdom. “How about building a house out of brick?”

As soon as they switched from building wood-frame houses to building brick houses, the fairies started getting words of thanks from their piggy clients. “Oink, oink.”

I see, I see.

“I’m sorry, but I haven’t got the slightest idea what the pigs are saying,” I said.

One of the fairies answered me apologetically. “He said, ‘Heh-heh-heh, the girl is cute.’”

“Is it okay if I slap him?”

When I said that, the pig replied once again, “Oink, oink.”

“What did he say now?” I asked.

One of the fairies answered me apologetically. “He said, ‘Please slap me! I’m begging you!’”

“You filthy pig…”

At any rate, that was how I ended up meddling in the fairies’ business. To make a long story short, I confronted their manager and extorted them for money.

I found myself doing the easy work of reviewing the final reports every day at the end of business, while spending a comfortable time relaxing inside one of the houses the fairies had built. Piece of cake. It was a sweet gig.

Sure is great to make money off someone else’s mess, huh?

The phrase smooth sailing described just such a scenario. All I was doing was earnestly squeezing money out of them.

“Heh-heh-heh…heh-heh-heh-heh…”

It was enough to make a bold laugh spill spontaneously from my lips.

“Tch… That’s the Ashen Witch, huh…? She’s horrible…horrible…! How can she laugh like that?! She’s infuriating!”

As she watched the witch quietly reading by herself through the mirror, the princess brought the handkerchief in her hand to her mouth and tugged on it forcefully with her teeth. She was the very picture of stereotypical jealousy, it was easy to see.

The princess, who had been convinced that she must be the most beautiful woman in the world, nevertheless felt herself already surrendering to the charms of the cheerful young witch before her eyes. Huh…? Wouldn’t you know it, when I see her up close, she’s pretty cute… Who is that girl…? The princess was angry at herself for thinking that.

By the way, the mirror that could speak human language had stupidly said while still half-asleep, “Elaina is the cutest.” So the princess had smashed it to pieces with her fist.

The story got a little off track there, but anyway, that was how much irrational rage the princess was holding toward the Ashen Witch before her eyes.

Her mind was full of resentment.

She loathed that witch.

“……Heh-heh-heh, note this well, little witch. I am the most beautiful in this world… Nowhere in this world does a woman exist who is more beautiful than I am…!”

By the way, do you know what you have to do to become the very best at something?

Put in the effort and wrest the title away. Find a category in which you can take first place. There are all sorts of different methods, but as you might expect, it can be quite difficult to be the best, so it won’t be that easy to surpass those above you. That’s because there’s a great gulf of talent between you and the top spot, and your efforts will be futile.

So then, what is the much easier way to become the very best?

The answer is simple.

All you have to do is get rid of anyone above you.

While I was killing time reading my book, I suddenly heard the sound of someone knocking on the door of the forest home.

There were two polite knocks that came slowly, as if the knocker was aware of what I was doing. After that came a voice, resonating clearly. “Pardon me!”

A visitor, perhaps?

“Coming!” Without being on guard at all, I opened the door.

A suspicious-looking woman was standing in the doorway. She wore her hood low over her head, and I couldn’t see her face. In her arms, she was holding a small basket, which had a lot of apples in it.

“Good day, Miss Cute Witch. I wonder if I could speak with you for a moment?”

I closed the door.

“Hey! Why do you close the door? Isn’t that rude?”

On the other side of the door, the unidentified woman voiced her complaints.

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but we’re not accepting sales calls.”

“You’ve got it wrong! You’ve got it all wrong! This isn’t a sales call!”

“Oh, religious evangelism, is it?”

“It’s not evangelism either!”

“Well then, what is it?”

I opened the door a little.

“…Um, I live next door, but, well, I had too many apples, so…um…I thought I would share…”

“Huh… Is that so…? Well, thanks, then.”

I opened the door a little bit more. Then the woman wearing her hood low over her head said, “Well then, go ahead. They’re very tasty apples. People say that they’re so good, you’ll ascend into heaven if you eat one.”

As she spoke, she pushed the basket of apples into my arms.

“…I see. Very interesting. Are they really that good? Now I’m curious, since you built them up so much.” I accepted the apples without issue, then asked the woman, “By the way, I’ve been wondering this since you showed up: How did you get those wounds on your hand?”

The woman’s hand was wrapped up in bandages. She must have been injured.

“Ah, these… I got these when I broke a mirror that was being a little cheeky.”

“…What on earth does that mean…?” I didn’t really understand her meaning, but I decided not to worry about it. It seemed bothersome.

More importantly—

“It’s a good idea to apply ointment when you are injured. Wait just a moment, please. I have some in the hut.”

Still holding the apples, I closed the door for a bit.

I soon reopened it.

“Sorry for the wait. Please apply this ointment to your wounds. People say the medicine is so good that your wounds will heal all at once and you’ll ascend into heaven.”

“Well, how wonderful. Is it really all right for me to take something like that? You really are too kind.”

The woman chuckled and removed the bandages that were wound around her hand, then scooped some of my ointment onto a fingertip and began spreading it on her hand.

“Oh my…this medicine—it smells like apples, doesn’t it?” The woman looked at me with a puzzled expression.

“It’s made from the apples you just gave me. I mashed them up, you see.”

“Eh?”

The change came over her body right after she spit out that one idiotic sound.

“Hyuuu,” she whistled as she fell flat on the floor. Stiff as a board, she lay there in the same position and did not move.

“…So they did have poison in them…?”

I didn’t know the reason, but apparently she had been after my life.

First things first, I used magic to eradicate the poison that was in her body.

Although I was saving her life now, I imagined she would still be upset when she realized I had turned the tables on her and nearly killed her.

So for the time being, I healed her body and then put her to sleep. I decided I would wake her up in a little while.

I began wrapping ropes around and around her body, to keep her from getting violent when she woke up.

I was still working on dealing with the aftermath of our confrontation, when—

—suddenly, a strange man appeared before me.

“Hail, you there!” he cried. “Could I have a moment?”

“And you are?” I replied.

I looked up and saw he was riding on a white horse. And he had a crown sitting on his head. From the way he held himself, I deduced that he was probably a prince.

“I am a prince,” he said proudly.

Then he continued with some strange words. “A necrophiliac prince, who just happened to be passing by unexpectedly.”

What on earth do you mean, “a necrophiliac prince, who just happened to be passing by unexpectedly”?

I didn’t quite understand the whole concept of it, but poking fun at the idea was too much of a pain, so I replied, “Oh really? That’s nice.”

The prince was delighted. “It sure is. It is nice. But that woman who you’re wrapping up in ropes is also…nice. Really nice. Her beautiful face looks like it’s sleeping, but as a matter of fact, it also looks dead. It’s really, really nice. Nice enough that I want her to be my bride.”

“Ha-ha.”

Apparently, the prince had some strange predilections. I decided not to delve into it too deeply.

“However, there is another person who I’ve been madly in love with for some time now, so the thing is, unfortunately I can’t fall in love with that woman there.”

“Oh, is that so?” From the bottom of my heart, I did not care, but I nodded along anyway.

“That is so. The princess who lives in a nearby country is incredibly beautiful, you see. My goodness, actually, the woman lying over there is the spitting image of—Hmm? Huh? Oh my, oh no! Could it be that the woman you’ve bound up in ropes is the princess?”

“Huh, is it really?”

How is it that the princess was after my life?

“Oh, there’s no doubt. That woman is perfect for me, the very one I’ve been searching for. She’s the princess! What on earth was she doing here in a place like this?”

Trying to kill me.

…But of course there was no way I could have told him that, so I decided to put on a little show.

“Um—actually…”

Once upon a time…

Then, several days later…

A lavish wedding was held in a certain country. Right at the heart of the wedding procession was a certain prince whose sexual predilections leaned in a somewhat strange direction. Beside him was the princess, who, although she hadn’t yet been able to fully comprehend what was going on, was smiling defiantly at the people, as if she was satisfied for now because she had managed to get married.

After our first encounter, I had approached the prince and whispered to him, “You should know, the princess has decided she wants to understand your sexual predilections, and to that end, I have placed her in a deep sleep. In order to wake her up, all you have to do is give her the kiss of true love.”

The prince had fallen head over heels for the beautiful and refined princess who wanted to understand his weird interests, and he had gone right ahead and taken her home to his country, where he kissed her and woke her up.

Although it was less that he woke her up and more that I released my spell on her.

Be that as it may, that is what came to pass, and before they knew what was happening, the two of them wound up getting married.

“Oh my…my goodness… Am I really allowed to be this happy…?”

During a spare moment in the celebration, the princess mumbled that to herself.

“I never could have imagined you would become the cupid to lead me to my love… I see now that you may be the most beautiful person in the world.”

She went on and on in that vein.

It was only later that I learned that apparently, she had hunted me down as part of her search for a marriage partner. As long as she wound up married, she probably didn’t really care what happened to me.

Still, even so, that unfortunately couldn’t erase the fact that she had attacked me.

“Ahh…what a lucky woman I am…!” Her eyes teared up with emotion.

“Yes, that’s right. How nice for you.” I returned her smile.

Oh-hoh-hoh.

By the way—

“I clearly remember the evil deed that you came to do to me, but—”

Placing my hands on her shoulders, I whispered softly.

“If you don’t want everyone else to know… Well, you understand, right?”

“…Huh?”

“You. Under. Stand. Right?”

“……”

And that’s how I found my fortune charging ridiculously exorbitant prices selling houses to pigs.

And they all lived happily ever after.

[Publication Information] Volume 8

Animate Purchase Bonus: Cast Talk CD Insert

[Author Comments]

This is a story I wrote especially for the Cast Talk CD that was a purchase bonus at Animate to go with Wandering Witch, Vol. 8, a CD which at this point is quite a rare item. I relistened to the Cast Talk CD for the first time in a while when I was writing Volume 15, and just as I remembered, the reading performance of Kaede Hondo was enthralling.

I feel as if she’s been looking after me ever since Volume 1, and I’m certain that if Miss Hondo hadn’t taken charge, Wandering Witch would never have made it this far.

I wonder if we could resell the CD in conjunction with the reading performance for Volume 1, Chapter 1? I really hope we do.