In a Different World with a Smartphone (LN) - Volume 23 - Chapter 4

Chapter IV: Kids in the Park

“Hah!”

The crystal star let loose by Elna shot toward Linne. She braced her gauntlet hard and charged forward to intercept it.

“Hup! Take this!”

A clang rang out as gauntlet collided with star, but neither shattered. Instead, the star bounced back in a large arc before docking on Elna’s staff.

Linze couldn’t help but mutter in surprise as she watched the demonstration, saying, “...It’s sturdier than mine.”

“Elna’s wand is made of phrasium, so that’s only natural.”

The star was made of phrasium as well, of course. I poured a hell of a lot of magic into it, so it was extremely hard. Linne’s gauntlets seemed to be about as hard, actually... Seemed like future me was just as excited to make Linne’s weapons too.

“Hup!” Linne grunted as she kicked off the ground and swept her leg toward Elna. However, it was suddenly blocked by an invisible barrier.

Elze couldn’t help but giggle at that.

“The wand has [Shield] built into it.”

“And that’s not all either! Take a look at this!” Elna exclaimed as she twirled her wand, making the star on the end of it begin radiating a sparkling light. She kept on twirling...and a ring of light formed around Elna. It was almost like viewing the rings of Saturn.

“[Boost]!”

After invoking her mother’s Null magic, Elna kicked off the ground and jumped about four meters into the air...and there she stayed. She remained completely stationary.

“She can fly?”

“Figured she can escape into the sky to deal with melee enemies...and her [Shield] can deflect any projectiles!”

“Isn’t that a little much, Touya? I appreciate it, but it’s kind of overkill...”

Elze had a point. I did get a little too carried away when making the weapon. But every time she cheered me on or called me cool, I felt compelled to add more features. It was hardly my fault!

We’d shown off all the stuff the wand could do, so the mock battle came to an end.

“Hey, Elna! That was awesome! I wanna fly too!”

“Hee hee hee... But you’re strongest when you’re on the ground, Linne.”

“That’s true...”

Elna grinned, but Linne sulked a little. There was another child who was itching to fight...but her mother was keeping her in check.

“Elna! Me next! Let’s play next!”

“Hey, Frei! That’s enough!”

Frei, who’d finally managed to shake off Hilde’s restraint, charged toward her sister with reckless abandon. She was a weapon maniac, so this was to be expected. Any time a new or interesting weapon appeared, she had to see it. I couldn’t help but feel a little upset about it, but her enthusiasm was rather cute.

“She’s normally so well-behaved... Why’s she like this when it comes to weaponry?”

“Mmm...”

I comforted Hilde a bit as she grumbled. Frei was a little wild, but it was just part of who she was. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Elna, though... She didn’t seem half as enthusiastic.

The battle between Frei and Elna began. Direct magic was forbidden to help test out the weapon, since that was the whole point, so the odds weren’t exactly in Elna’s favor. Frei decided not to use [Storage] magic for her weapons to even the playing field a little.

This was just an exercise to show off Elna’s star wand, so winning or losing didn’t really matter. Frei would be happy just to see the weapon in action, I felt.

“Hey, hey...dad...”

“What’s up, Linne?” I asked as I raised a brow toward my daughter.

“I was talking to Allis the other day and...are you gonna make the amewsment park yet?”

“Huh?”

Amewsment park...? Wait, does she mean amusement park? Do I build something like that in the future? Like...for my kids? No way! I know I’m a doting dad...but did I really go that far?! Surely it must be for tourism...or to entertain my citizens. Yeah, that’s gotta be the reason why I did it... Probably...

“Could you tell me a little more about what you mean?”

“Umm... There’s a Ferris wheel, a big dipper coaster...a parade...and... Oh, I can just show you...”

Linne fiddled around in her pockets and pulled out her smartphone. It had [Protection] enchanting it, so its little jaunt into the Great Gau River left it no worse for wear. Both Linne and Elna had been able to use their phones with no issue.

“Look here.”

“Whah!”

The image Linne showed me was one of her and Linze... A slightly more mature Linze, might I add. They were standing in front of what seemed to be a fully-fledged theme park. Linne then flicked through the photos, showing me shots of her and Elna, one of Allis and an adult Elze, and a few more photos with her mother.

Just as I leaned forward to get a closer look at how well my wives had developed, the hand of god struck and snatched the phone away.

“That’s enough of that, you know?”

“Karen?!”

Before I could do anything, Linne’s phone was in Karen’s hand. The goddess of love shook her head at me and heaved a small sigh at my daughter.

“Linne, you know the rules about the future. Didn’t Tokie tell you? You’ll ruin all his fun if you give him spoilers, you know?”

“Ohhh, gosh...” Linne mumbled, looking pretty panicked when she got told off.

But I wanna see more! It’s not like the future will change, right? The time spirits will fix any discrepancies it caused, surely...

It was true that knowing what was coming could ruin my enjoyment a little, but I was still really interested.

“I’m sorry, Karen...”

“It’s okay, you know? You can talk about the amusement park! Just don’t show him these photos. There are things in here he should experience for the first time with his own two eyes, not through photos.”

Damn it... It’s not like I don’t get it...but how come she can talk about the park, but not this?

“The best site to build is southwest of the castle town.”

“Huh? We gotta build it?”

“You have Babylon’s workshop, you know?”

Ah, I guess... But still...a theme park in Brunhild? The construction should be easy enough with the workshop, but we’ll need a lot of materials. I’ll have to do [Enchant] a lot for safety as well... Do I have to do the whole thing? It’s not like I have to do it soon, right?

“Hm... Hm?”

As I pondered the timing of things, I felt two small eyes staring up at me. My daughter, Linne, gazed at me with the same deep blue eyes her mother had. I could feel the weight of her expectations on me.

Damn it... I can’t resist this kind of focused attack.

“W-Well...I guess I could talk to Kousaka about it...”

“Yay!”

Thus, thanks to Linne’s pleading, a plan for building the official Brunhild Theme Park was set into motion.

◇ ◇ ◇

“Hm... That’s not a bad idea. If we drive tourism, then we drive the local economy. But don’t do it solely by yourself, my liege. You’d take possible job opportunities away from viable construction workers.”

I got permission from Kousaka...with some restrictions.

Gah... But if I used the workshop, I could build the whole thing in less than three days. Well, we can build the bulk ride parts at least. I’m sure the foundations can be handled by Dvergr pilots and Earth magic wielders. That part of the process should take a few months, and then I can start installing the rides.

But I couldn’t just build a roller-coaster on my own. That was why I turned to Doctor Babylon. I could handle the easier stuff like merry-go-rounds and Ferris wheels, though. Either way, that was why I was talking to Doc Babylon about the idea.

“We don’t have to build one. I actually have one in the storehouse.”

“Wait, you have a whole theme park?!”

The doc spoke so casually about it that I could scarcely believe what she was saying.

“You can use Space-time magic to store things like that in smaller spaces, yes. I’ve created multiple smaller dimensions like that before, remember?”

“Oh, you mean that time we got trapped in that die thing...”

One time, when we were organizing the storehouse, we got trapped in this weird die and were forced to play a game to get out... It was a real headache.

The inside of the die was crazy huge, like a whole pocket dimension got stored inside. The same principle was used for Babylon’s hangar. It was all operated via the use of a magical artifact.

“So can we still use the one you have?”

“I believe so. Even though it’s been thousands of years, the protective magic should still hold true. That said, magic was more popular than technology back in my heyday, so I can’t be sure the current civilization will enjoy the same things we did.”

That was a good point. The attractions in this ancient park could end up being uninteresting or even disturbing or foreign to people of the current era. I remembered reading about some ancient Mayan game similar to soccer, but they used executed peoples’ heads as the ball.

I could only pray that the facility would be fun for the whole family...or that it’d at least resemble something like a theme park I knew.

Still, if it was a dud, we could just take the best parts from it and install it into Brunhild’s. Easy peasy.

I quietly sighed before pressing on and asking, “Is it safe?”

“Of course. There might be a few scary, or thrilling, aspects. Certainly things not for the faint of heart. But that’s about it.”

That made sense. People unfamiliar with roller coasters would probably react pretty intensely to experiencing one for the very first time.

“An ancient theme park, though... I’m curious about what manner of magical machinery they must have employed...” Quun, who’d poked her head out of the research laboratory to snoop on me, raised her voice to make that remark. That girl was singularly obsessed with all things magitech, so it only stood to reason she’d be interested.

“Father. I’d like to go into the little world with you.”

“I don’t know about that... It could be dangerous. Plus, there’s also—” Midway through my rejection of her request, I stopped. The sad look on Quun’s cute little face sent my heart into knots.

Urgh... Wh-What do I do?! Is she doing this on purpose?!

“F-Father...? Can’t I?”

“Gh... I...guess... I guess...you can...if the Doc says...it’s safe...”

“Hurray! Thanks, father!” Quun exclaimed as she gave me a big hug. However, her eyes appeared vacant. I’d been defeated. I knew she was playing me like a damn fiddle, but there was nothing I could do.

“...He’s such a simpleton.”

“...He certainly has simple tendencies.”

“...Scanners are detecting critical simplicity.”

I growled quietly as I heard Doc Babylon, Elluka, and Fenrir roast me. It wasn’t my fault. I had no chance against that kind of dirty attack, so why wage a war you couldn’t win?

First Linne, then Quun... Which of my daughters would exploit me next?

“Let’s invite everyone, then. Allis and her family too,” Quun spoke up, then started making several calls on her phone.

...Wait, when did I agree to that?

◇ ◇ ◇

“Hey, Touya. You sure this isn’t dangerous?”

“It’s safe... Probably...” I mumbled as I looked away from Ende. To be honest, I had no idea.

We were all in Babylon’s garden, answering Quun’s summons. Allis and her family had been invited as well, which included Ende.

They know about Babylon, so it’s fine, but frankly, I’m a little concerned about what the three mothers might do more than Allis herself...

Doctor Babylon was in front of us, running her fingers along the dice-shaped artifact. It was beeping and booping, which meant it was clearly some kind of touchscreen interface.

The top part of it was glass, so you could see inside. It was a little too small to see properly, but the inside resembled a garden diorama. There was a sea area and a forest part as well. It was kind of laid out like an amusement park.

“All right, let’s set it to an eight-hour excursion. You’ll be automatically ejected when time’s up, so don’t worry. Even if you get lost in there, it’ll be fine!”

“Huh...? W-Wait a second. You can get lost in there?” Linze asked, suddenly starting to panic. Kids sometimes got lost in amusement parks, so she was probably worried about losing Linne for hours at a time.

“It’s a big place, so yeah, you can get lost. But Touya has [Search], so it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?”

“Am I gonna be able to use my magic in there?”

“Some of the attractions are less fun with magic, so there are areas where you’ll have your spells sealed, but the main park itself should be fine.”

That sounds a little sus, but I guess if it’s safe...

“Dad, c’mon! Let’s gooo!” Linne roared and looked up at me with sparkling joy in her eyes. I still couldn’t shake some of the anxiety, however. I wasn’t sure if this amusement park was the same as that other time I got transported into one of Babylon’s inventions. The last time it happened, it was kind of a pain in the ass...

“I’m not going in there with you, by the way. I’ve got other things to tinker with today. Cesca’ll be the one to show you around, understand?”

“Indeed. I’ll be your guide today. I have all information on the attractions committed to memory,” Cesca puffed her chest as she said that, perhaps in an attempt to reassure us, but the knowledge that she’d be our guide only served to heighten my concern.

“All right, time to toss you in.”

The top of the box creaked open...and it began sucking us all up without any warning.

“Have fun in there, kids!”

I felt my consciousness fade to black as Doc Babylon’s voice rang in my ears.

◇ ◇ ◇

“Dad... Dad...”

“Hm?”

I woke up to the sensation of Elna tapping me on the shoulder. Then, I looked around and found myself on a large green lawn. Next to us, in the middle of the greenery, was a large black monolith. It resembled the one from Babylon. It was surrounded by white metallic pillars that circled it. The sight kind of reminded me of England’s Stonehenge. Each pillar had another metal beam on the top, creating what resembled a gate of sorts. However, naught but an endless meadow stretched out beyond the trilithons in front of me.

Everyone got up and looked at the structure with confused looks on their faces.

“...What is this? Is this an amusement park?”

“...This is the entrance to Babylon Park...in a manner of speaking. Please wait a moment,” Cesca explained as she began operating the monolith, just as she had with the one in the garden.

Before long, a map of the area was projected into the air. There was stuff written on it, but I couldn’t understand. Ancient Parthenon tongue, no doubt.

“Babylon Park is home to various themed zones and entertainment facilities. For example, the darkness zone is home to countless simulated traumas, guaranteed to strike fear into the hearts of any of our attendees.”

“E-Eek...”

“M-Mommy?” Elna muttered as she glanced over at Elze, who’d let her own fear slip. A haunted house attraction was the last thing Elze would be interested in.

Elze quickly tried to play it off in front of Elna, though. She merely shook her head and gave a wink as if to say “No problem!”

Nobody else ribbed her over it either. Probably out of consideration for her motherly pride.

“I’m not sure where to begin... How about something we can all enjoy?”

“I agree. We shouldn’t do anything too extreme to start things out.”

Leen and Yumina seemed to be in agreement. My wives all had vague ideas of what amusement parks were. They’d seen them in movies with me before, but never actually gone to one in real life.

“Personally, I’d like to try the ride involving the horses that go round and round.”

“That’s called a merry-go-round, mother. I like them a lot.”

Hilde, who was holding hands with Frei, made her opinion known. Apparently, Frei had ridden a merry-go-round that I’d made in the future. It was only natural for her to be interested in horses, considering her knightly upbringing. However, that was something you found in an amusement park on Earth. Would an ancient civilization’s park have that?

“Horses? I’m afraid we don’t have that. Though we do have facilities where you can ride manaforms.”

“Mana...forms? What, like animals made out of magic or something?”

“Something to that effect, yes.”

Manaforms, huh? It’s not like an animatronic, is it? Like a Gollem horse or something?

“Magic animals? I wanna ride them!”

“My daughter has spoken. Make it so.”

Allis got all fired up, prompting Ney to stare at me with icy eyes.

Ugh... You’re just as dangerously doting as Ende.

“It’s in the Nature Zone. We’ll go there at once. Allow me to connect the appropriate portal.”

A point on the map suddenly started to glow and flicker. At the same time, one of the trilithons began to glow, generating a portal between its sides. It seemed like these things worked similar to my [Gate] spell.

Cesca led the way through the portal...and we found ourselves in another field surrounded by a fence. It resembled more of a farm than an amusement park, frankly.

“Ahhh... Dad, look!”

“Huh?”

Linne pointed at several objects that were bouncing around nearby. They were around the size of a balance ball. There was a red one, a green one, a yellow one, an orange one... All kinds of colors, really, and each one had something that looked like a saddle on top of them.

Wait, are these...?

“Welcome to the slime ranch.”

Upon hearing that, my wives began looking around with expressions of utter disgust on their faces. Cesca simply grinned in response.

◇ ◇ ◇

“It’s squishy!”

“It’s nice and soft...”

“It’s so cute!”

“Yeah, it’s really cute!”

“...I’m starting to question how these kids were raised.”

Allis and my daughters were all crowded around a Slime. It was an Orange Slime that was about the size of a balance ball. It bounced on the spot, squishing each time it hit the ground.

It looked like your typical cute Slime enemy you’d find in a video game. Compared to the Slimes I’d encountered, this one definitely seemed different... At the very least, it didn’t seem as threatening.

“...Are these things safe to touch?”

“Don’t go near the green ones!”

“Th-They’re not gonna dissolve our clothes, right?”

“...I say we should kill them and be done with it, I do.”

Yumina, Elze, Linze, and Yae stared at the Slimes with narrowed eyes. I could understand why they felt so strongly about the matter. After all, the four of them (and myself) had a bad experience with Slimes in the past.

Apparently, Partheno had made several leaps and bounds when it came to Slime research, so they’d produced several docile strains... Presumably the ones in front of us were some of those.

“They look friendly to me.”

“Their individual traits might have been stripped away? This one here’s a Red Slime, but it’s cool to the touch.”

Sue and Leen were already petting a Red Slime. Red Slimes were, by nature, burning hot. The fact that this one was cool meant it must have had any dangerous characteristics bred out.

Oh... I guess they’re all the same type of Slime, but just different colors, then?

“Hup!” Allis yelled and jumped upward, straddling the saddle of a Pink Slime. There was a handle jutting out from the front of the saddle, which looked kind of like one you’d see on a bike, so she grabbed on with both hands.

The Slime began to bounce around the area with the little girl atop it... Watching the newly-christened Slime rider brought a small grin to my face.

“This is awesome! Go faster!” Allis exclaimed as she leaned her body weight forward, prompting the Slime to bounce faster. As it accelerated, it started to bounce less and less... By the time it reached max speed, it was sliding across the ground like a slug. It was honestly impressive though, since it was going at about the same pace as a reasonably fast bicycle.

“I wanna go!” Linne followed Allis’s lead by clambering onto a Slime next to her and started riding it. The other kids followed suit.

“It looks like fun. I want to try...”

“Yeah, me too!”

Sakura and Sue got on their own Slimes and started hunting down the kids.

“Lady Melle, we should join them!”

“I’m quite fine, thank you. But the two of you can ride if you like, Ney.”

With that, Ney and Lycee got on horseback...or rather, Slimeback, and set themselves away.

Should... Should I try it?

I slowly approached a nearby Black Slime and placed my hand atop its saddle. It didn’t react. I shrugged and swung my leg over, sitting atop its back.

“Whoa! Gah! Agh!”

The moment I got on, the Black Slime started to wiggle and writhe like crazy. It was like I was on some kind of bucking bronco.

S-Stop! Stop!

“Hey! Gah!”

The Black Slime bucked me off, and I was sent catapulting into a nearby grassy patch. It was a real rough landing...

“Are you okay, Touya?”

“Yeah, I’m fine... Didn’t hurt that much.”

Lu came running over out of concern. I’d been thrown quite violently, but luckily, I hadn’t really been hurt. If I had to guess, the field we were in probably had some kind of injury dampening effect around it. I would’ve preferred complete damage nullification, but I figured some pain was necessary to help you learn your lesson... Still, we were in an area of the park where I couldn’t use my magic to strengthen my body...and my balance wasn’t really the best to begin with...

“Pfft... Little tied up there, Touya? Who’d have thought a Slime would be the thing to bring you down.”

“It’s harder than it looks, jackass. Why don’t you give it a try?”

I was a little annoyed by Ende’s cockiness, so I pointed over at the Black Slime. It clearly had an attitude problem. I’d heard of crazy horses, but never a crazy Slime...

Ende shrugged and started walking over toward the Slime. Then, without a second thought, he hopped onto its saddle.

“You really had a problem with this thi— Ack... H-Hey, easy there... Agh! N-No, wait!”

Ende’s smug grin was wiped clean off his face as the Black Slime began violently thrashing about. It bucked and writhed, desperately trying to knock him off. All the while, Ende was clinging on for dear life.

Get him! Get that smug bastard! He can’t hold on forever!

“Ugh... W-Wait! Agh!”

The Black Slime suddenly stopped thrashing, sending Ende flying forward. After he spun through the air and landed hard on his back, I could practically see the stars circling his head. And, to top it all off, the Black Slime slid up next to him and smacked his chest.

Oof!

“Pfft... Little tied up there, Ende? Thought it’d have taken more than a Slime to get the better of you.”

“...I still rode it for longer than you, didn’t I?” Ende groaned as he glared up at me.

...Is that a challenge?

“Huh? You guys can’t ride?”

“That’s kinda lame, dad...”

“Huh?!”

Ende and I broke our deadlock to turn to the left. Linne was standing there, looking confused, and Allis seemed decidedly unimpressed by our posturing.

“W-Wait, Linne! I can ride it!”

“H-Hold on, Allis! I’m not lame!”

“Linne, Allis. Don’t be so quick to judge. I’m sure Uncle Ende and Father were just demonstrating the potential risks of riding. Isn’t that right, father?”

Before we could come up with a suitable cover story for our crippling failures, Quun rode over on a Slime of her own and offered a convenient excuse. She had a smug grin on her face that made me think of Leen... The little twerp knew exactly what was going on here, clearly!

“Is that right, dad?”

“Uhhh... Yeah, of course! I wanted to make sure this place had proper safety measures in place, while also teaching you guys the best way to land. Right, Ende?”

“Huh? Oh... Uh, yeah! Yep! We needed to fall as hard as we could too. Got to test the shock absorption! Ha ha!”

Ende started to emphatically nod his head. Maybe a little too much. Even though I knew I was dancing in Quun’s palm, I couldn’t allow myself to lose face here. No doubt Ende felt the same.

“Ohhh, that makes lots of sense. I knew you guys wouldn’t be that pathetic!”

...Just smile and wave, Touya. Smile and wave.

I extended a thumbs-up toward Allis, refusing to let her know how much her words had just wounded my pride. Ende was clearly more affected than I was, however... His shoulders were slack, and I could feel the gloom emanating from him. Any man would feel that way after hearing his own daughter mock him.

We watched the kids ride off before relaxing our stances slightly.

“...Yep, this area’s secure. Now we know the kids can play safely.”

“Yep, sounds good to me. Let’s keep them away from the black one, though. It’s not exactly friendly.”

“The two of you are useless fathers.”

Quiet, you...

I grumbled a bit at Cesca’s needless commentary, silently hoping she’d give the Black Slime a test ride to see how she’d cope.

“So is this place just for riding Slimes?”

“More or less, yes. The soil here has curative and relaxing qualities imbued into it. It’s an area suitable for picnics and calm experiences.”

Linze’s question was promptly answered by Cesca.

...If this is a picnic place, then we should’ve come here closer to noon. Would’ve been better to eat lunch here.

The kids were happy, though, which made me happy. Plus, Sue, Sakura, Ney, and Lycee also seemed to be having a good time.

“Mooom!” Linne exclaimed as she merrily bounced toward her mother. In response, Linze offered the little girl a comforting wave, but the presence of the approaching Slime was clearly making her uncomfortable.

“Mom, come ride with me!”

“Er...”

Welp, she’s tensed up.

“I wanna ride with you! Pretty please?!”

“Er... W-Well, Linne... I-It’s just... Oh, that Slime isn’t big enough for two! So...I can’t!”

Right after Linze had managed to worm her way out of it, Cesca butted in.

“Fret not. If you combine two Slimes of the same color, you can create a larger Slime capable of seating two.”

Cesca smiled widely as Linze glared sharpened daggers right into her. I could see tears forming in the corners of her eyes... I could understand how the poor thing felt, though.

Quun rode her Slime over to one that was the same color, then bumped her mount into it. After a few moments of touching, the other Slime was absorbed into Quun’s... Partially, anyway. It was more like part of it had connected, creating a kind of conjoined Slime that resembled a dango skewer. It kind of reminded me of this old puzzle game where you had to match up bubbles in a row to make them disappear.

“Oh my, it works. Now it’s a two-seater. Care to ride with me, mother?”

“I suppose I can do that, yes. I’ll leave the piloting to you, however.”

Leen shrugged her shoulders as she walked over to the Slime her daughter was riding.

“You come up here too, mother!”

“H-Hm? Me? Er, well... I suppose so...”

Frei yelled down at Hilde, who stood up and straddled a Slime alongside her daughter. After seeing Leen and Hilde join their respective daughters, Linne and Elna looked expectantly at Linze and Elze. They had big, pleading eyes... The two of them even began making little whining sounds in unison. Their mothers were completely powerless before the cuteness, prompting them both to speak up at once.

“W-Well...I suppose we could give it a try...”

They’d been utterly defeated. It made me a little happy to know I wasn’t the only pushover when it came to the kids.

Elze and Linze straddled the Slimes behind their daughters, awkward smiles on their faces. Each time the Slimes beneath them squirmed, so too did the twins. Their nervousness was palpable.

“E-Eep... It’s all squishy!”

“Th-This thing won’t start dissolving anything, right?”

After confirming their mothers were safely aboard, Elna and Linne started moving their respective Slimes forward. Elna moved slowly and cautiously, but Linne blasted forward at full speed.

I locked eyes with Linze and sensed her silent screaming as she zoomed on by, but it was too late to save her... I just had to pray she’d be okay.

“...I cannot help but be thankful my daughter is not present, I cannot.”

“...I feel a little bad about being so relieved, but I agree...”

Yae and Yumina had muddled expressions on their faces as they saw the other girls go off with their daughters on the Slimes. Even if the parents weren’t doing so great, the kids were happy. That was all that mattered...I think.

◇ ◇ ◇

“That was fun!” Frei roared, positively shimmering with excitement all the while. I was glad she’d had fun, at least.

All the other kids were brimming with energy as well. Even after dismounting the Slimes, they were bouncing on their heels and ready for the next ride. In fact, they were so excited that they’d started chasing each other in a big circle, like some kind of demented merry-go-round.

I glanced over at Linze and Elze, who looked completely haggard... Linze especially. She was smiling with her mouth, but not with her eyes.

“L-Let’s go...somewhere...relaxing...next...” Linze muttered quietly as she shook her head. Out of all the girls riding the Slimes, she’d had it the worst... Linne charged their mount so fast it must have been like riding a rollercoaster.

From the looks of things, poor Linze had a case of motion sickness... Unfortunately, that wasn’t something I could fix. It was a natural condition, so I couldn’t use [Recovery] to cure it...

“Hm... A relaxing place, you say...? Let’s see... Can’t you relax here?”

“And what’s so relaxing about this place, huh?!”

“Oof!”

Cesca’s casual remark made Linze storm forward and shake her by the shoulders. Her eyes were bloodshot.

“Y-You must calm down, Linze-dono. We shall choose a new destination, we shall. I would prefer a place where we can move our own bodies rather than a vehicle, I would,” Yae said as she pried Linze’s hands off Cesca. Frei, Linne, and Allis all raised their hands in support.

“A place to exercise your body...? Then we shall go to the dark zone.”

“W-W-Wait a minute! Dark zone?! That sounds way too creepy!” Elze complained and flailed her arms in a panic in response to Cesca’s words. Elna looked up at her mother in confusion, clearly confused about why she was so worried. Future Elze had evidently done a good job of hiding her fears.

“Nay, be not afraid. The dark zone is a hunting area in which you can recreationally fight simulated enemies and monsters.”

“Oh... Like a simulation?”

“Precisely.”

The last time we got caught up in this dice hell, we had to fight simulated enemies... It seemed like the dark zone attraction featured similar opportunities.

“...It’s not dangerous, right?”

“Correct.”

“Hm... Then I guess we could,” Elze tentatively agreed and nodded her head.

The main purpose of this theme park trip was to entertain our kids, but the secondary purpose was to get some inspiration for things we could use in Brunhild’s theme park. If we avoided some attractions because of our personal fears, we might miss out on some good experiences. Elze clearly knew that, hence her reluctant acceptance of going to a potentially scary place.

It was also obvious that she didn’t want to ruin her daughter’s day out. Elna seemed excited to go. She ran up to Elze and held her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. I couldn’t help but be a little jealous... I was her father, after all.

Out of nowhere, Quun sauntered over to my side with a malicious grin on her face.

“Shall I hold your hand...father?”

“Ghhh... How’d you know what I was thinking?!”

“You’re my father, you know? I know everything there is to know about you.”

...I’m not so sure about that...

Despite my doubts, I quietly sighed and let Quun take my hand. It was a little embarrassing being spoken down to by my own kid, but part of me actually felt a little happy.

“Let’s head on, folks. The next area’s this way.”

Cesca activated the Slime ranch’s trilithon portal, and we headed on through. The light within the portal was so blinding that I was briefly robbed of sight, and then...

My eyes failed to adjust. It was just darkness. Darkness all around... I glanced to my left and right, seeing only black. Then I looked up and saw a blood-red moon, shining full and resplendent. I had no idea when it had become night... Or maybe this place was simply designed to be perpetually dark.

The dull illumination of the moon above revealed a sprawling cemetery ahead of us.

“Wh-What is this?!”

The sudden shift caused Elze to shudder and panic. Elna stood by her mother’s side, clenching her hand just a little tighter. She looked nervous too, but not as nervous as Elze.

...Why’s there spooky background music playing too?! Isn’t this overkill?

Just as I turned to Cesca for an explanation, a hand burst out from beneath the soil in front of us.

“Eek!”

“Eep!”

Several skeletal hands, some with scraps of flesh still attached, rose from the graves before our very eyes. The sight elicited several frightened shrieks.

After a short time, our would-be attackers emerged from their resting places. It was a group of Skeletons. I quickly mustered my magic and tried to cast [Banish], but it fizzled out and didn’t do anything at all.

Crap... My magic doesn’t work here?!

Yae pulled out the sword at her waist and swiftly cleaved at a Skeleton by her side...only for her attack to fail completely. It simply passed through the spectral foe.

“These are illusionary enemies. You can’t beat them normally. Your attraction weapons are right here, so take your pick,” Cesca motioned to a nearby countertop as she said that, pointing out a row of neatly lined-up weapons that were on it.

Huh? That’s pretty convenient, isn’t it? Oh, wait...I guess this is a ride, huh?

Quun and Leen casually walked up to a Skeleton and began inspecting it.

“My, it’s certainly authentic. You can barely tell it apart from the genuine article.”

“Interesting that it’s not attacking us... Is that because we’re unarmed?”

“No touching the attraction monsters, please.”

Cesca said that, but it wasn’t like they could... These things were basically holograms... Frighteningly realistic ones, however. The way one of the Skeletons chattered its teeth was especially freaky.

“All right, I’m gonna use this greatsword!” Frei exclaimed as she casually swiped up a sword that was as long as her own body. Whether it was thanks to the material or some kind of weight-reducing enchantment, the little girl swung it with ease, cutting through a nearby Skeleton.

There was a generic slashing sound effect and the Skeleton disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving behind a floating number ‘10’ where it died. I cocked a brow in confusion upon seeing that.

“That kill was worth ten points. You have thirty minutes to earn as many points as you can. You’ll get prizes based on your score at the end.”

“There are prizes?”

I was a little surprised to hear that. Prizes for games were usually the kind of thing you’d find at a carnival, not an amusement park... Perhaps this place was more like a hybrid?

“You should play with us too, mother!”

“Ha ha ha... That does sound rather fun. I shall join you.”

Hilde seemed rather eager to accept her daughter’s invitation. She picked up a longsword and slashed at a nearby Skeleton. It vanished into a puff of smoke, leaving behind a ‘10’ again... But then after that number vanished, a ‘5’ flashed up as well. This was kind of reminding me of a video game.

“You can earn extra points per kill if you successfully hit your enemy’s weak point. The location tends to vary, so try your best to maximize your gains.”

“Hmhm... Then we should strike while the iron is hot, we should. I will indulge in this, I will.”

Yae picked up a sword from the counter and charged into the fray. With that as their starting cue, everyone picked up a weapon and started killing Skeletons. Even Elze, who was spooked at first, picked up some gauntlets and joined in on the fun. It seemed she was usually fine with facing her fears so long as she could punch them... I was just glad they had a weapon she was familiar with, or she wouldn’t be able to do much punching at all.

The kids seemed completely unfazed by the spooky, scary Skeletons. They were blasting, slashing, and punching as much as they could. They clearly weren’t gold or silver adventurers for nothing.

Linze, Leen, and I weren’t too interested in participating, so we stayed behind and watched everyone else have their fun. We did take a couple of weapons with us just in case, however.

I had a spear with me, since I figured if I was gonna use a weapon, I might as well use one I didn’t really use often.

“Hup!” I exclaimed as I thrust my spear out into a nearby Skeleton’s breastbone. Even though the Skeleton was just a projection, I actually felt the tactile feedback from the impact. It was a great simulation.

A ‘10’ flashed up in the air, then a ‘5’ did. I’d gotten the bonus.

Woo, go me.

“It’s kinda boring just killing Skeletons, isn’t it?”

Almost as if the area was responding to me, rotting Zombies began rising from the ground to mix things up. Then came the wolf Zombies, then the bandage-clad Mummies...

More, and more, and more, and more... The enemies swarmed us in droves. It kind of felt gratuitous, really.

This is a little excessive, isn’t it?! Man, what a pain... I just wanted to hang back and chill out.

◇ ◇ ◇

Yumina’s arrow flew true through the air. It whistled as it shot forward and pierced a distant Zombie in the forehead. Just like you’d see in a game, the number ‘20’ appeared after it puffed away into smoke.

Huh, so the Zombies are worth more.

Zombies and Skeletons basically went down in one shot, so they weren’t that big of a deal.

“There are way too many of them...”

The enemies kept coming in droves. No matter how many we put down, more just rose up to replace them. It was like being force-fed at an elderly relative’s house when you just wanted to be done.

“Ugh... I wish I could use my magic...”

“I agree.”

Linze and Leen couldn’t help but sigh. I could understand why they were troubled, since this attraction blocked off their primary mode of attack. The others were still merrily fending off the incoming hordes, however.

“Aw! Mother, that was my kill!”

“The early bird gets the worm, Frei. If it vexes you, then train harder.”

Hilde and Frei exchanged banter as they pulverized scores of undead. And they weren’t the only ones either.

“Awright! I’m at five hundred points, dad! What about you?!”

“Think I’m at six hundred or so.”

“Huh?! No way, I won’t lose!”

Allis and Ende had turned it into a contest between themselves. It looked like fun, honestly.

“Ah! Mama Yae! That way!”

“I see it, I do!”

Linne called out, prompting Yae to slash her sword outward. Her strike cleaved two Zombies in half in an instant.

Mama Yae, huh...?

Linne wasn’t related to Yae by blood, but both Linze and Yae were my wives. It was only natural that all my children would view everyone as their mother. I spied a hint of redness on Yae’s cheeks, as well as a little grin. She was probably happy to hear it. It surely made me hope Yakumo would show up sooner.

“Oh, Touya! Look!”

“Whoa...”

Linze pointed over to something big amidst the Zombie horde. The background music suddenly shifted into a more imposing orchestral score...and the ground shifted. A massive undead Dragon burst out of the ground.

A Dragon Zombie? Is that the boss monster or something?

“This one’s mine!” Allis exclaimed as she leaped forward, striking the Dragon with her gauntlet-clad fist.

The part that Allis struck warped and changed color slightly, but the Dragon didn’t vanish like the others.

“That’s the final enemy. It’ll take more than one hit.”

Hrm... Guess it makes sense that we’d have to hit it a ton of times. It’d be boring if you could take out the last boss that easily.

“GRAAARGH!”

“Watch out, guys!”

The Dragon Zombie suddenly spewed out a poison goop. It looked poisonous... It probably wouldn’t actually poison us, but I figured it’d be best to avoid it...

“That stinks!”

I reflexively pinched my nose as a stench rose up from the impact site.

What the hell is that smell?!

It wasn’t unbearably bad, but it reeked worse than rotten eggs. I’d smelled worse before. There was that one Slime, for example... Still, it was certainly gross enough to make everyone else gag.

“Don’t fret. It’s unpleasant, but it won’t have any lasting effects. It’ll go away when you beat the Dragon.”

Ugh... Can’t it go away now?! It reeks! We need to get rid of this thing...

I glanced over at Melle, Ney, and Lycee. They seemed completely unfazed for some reason.

“How come you guys are fine?”

“Oh, we can sever any of our senses at will... Though it seems like Allis isn’t so good at it.”

Melle gestured toward her daughter. The poor little thing had her hands cupped over her nose and mouth. My guess was that Allis probably couldn’t do it at all, since she wasn’t a pure Phrasian life-form. Ende was doing the exact same thing with his hands, so she probably had him to thank for that.

“Fear not, Allis. I can handle this.”

“Mhm. Ney’s right. Leave this to your mothers.”

Ney stepped forward, hefting a huge ax. Lycee stood by her side, brandishing twin blades.

Hold up!

I quickly dashed forward and whispered to the two of them, saying, “...We don’t wanna take away the fun, do we? Shouldn’t we focus more on support and let the kids do the bulk of it?”

“Hrm... You mean for us to leave everything to Allis and the youngsters?” Ney asked as she glared at me.

...I didn’t mean for you to sit by the sidelines, it’s just... Ugh!

As I struggled to find the words, Ende spoke up.

“What Touya meant to say was, he thinks we should fight alongside the kids. Right?”

Yeah... That’s better... It’d be lame for the kids if their parents just did all the work.

“I see... Come then, Allis! Let’s slay this foe together!”

“Okay!”

Ney and Lycee charged toward the Zombie with Allis in tow. Frei, Quun, Elna, and Linne cheered and charged forward with their own weapons as well. Not wanting to be outdone, Elze, Hilde, Yae, and Ende followed after them.

The rest of us took out the remaining Skeletons and Zombies to prevent us from being overwhelmed.

I swung my spear around here and there, mopping up the mobs with little effort. The only question burning in my mind was...how many points would the Zombie Dragon be worth?

“GRAAAUUUGH!”

After being sufficiently whaled on, the Zombie Dragon burst into particles of light. Point scores like ‘520’ and ‘750’ exploded from the dead boss, flashing in front of whoever earned them. That was probably the Zombie Dragon’s total value being distributed among the people who did the most damage to it.

“We did it!” Frei cheered as she raised her sword high into the air. The other kids looked excited too as they merrily yelled alongside one another. Their parents looked on with gentle smiles on their faces.

The stink finally dissipated...and a victory fanfare played.

...Is it over?

Right as I wondered that, the surrounding area lit up, and we found ourselves in an open, pure-white space. There was another monolith nearby.

“Congratulations, all of you. It’s time to see what prizes you’ve earned according to your scores. Here’s the list.”

Cesca slid her finger along the monolith, projecting a list of prizes into the air. The kids all looked up at it excitedly.

“...I can’t read it.”

“Yes, it appears to be written in the tongue of Partheno... That language died some five thousand years ago,” Leen casually replied to Frei’s disappointed mutter. Doctor Babylon had told me that in the distant past, Partheno had dominated almost a full third of the continent. There was no doubt that their language was widespread.

“Oh, my apologies. It’s improperly converted, just give me a moment.”

The list began rearranging itself after Cesca swiped her finger again. She placed her palm flat on it, creating a magic circle along the monolith. Cesca must have had a translation tool installed into her at some point...because this feature of hers was news to me... I wasn’t complaining, though. It was useful.

Unfortunately, now that I could read the list, I wished that I couldn’t. These prizes were obviously picked out by Doc Babylon. I should’ve known from the beginning that they’d be no good.

“...Mom, what’s a...horny potion?”

“What?! E-Erm... Er...Linne, that’s um... That’s just medicine that helps people get along...”

“...What’s a lusty lingerie?”

“What?! E-Erm... Er... Elna, I’ll tell you when you’re older!”

Not everything on the list was bad, but nearly everything was pretty awful. I made a mental note to tell the doc off about this.

Elna, Linne, and Allis weren’t really sure what to look at. Quun, on the other hand, had a sly grin on her face. She clearly knew precisely what was listed here. If you asked me, she was a little too well-educated for a girl at the age of ten...but she was a seeker of knowledge.

“...I-I’ll take the bathing salts set.”

Frei had a huge blush on her face, and I found myself surprised. But she was the oldest of the kids, so it was probably to be expected. She was a year older than Yumina was when I met her, after all.

“Hey... That bath set’s fine, right?”

“It’s a simple set for treating stiffness, arthritis, and neurological symptoms. There’s nothing suspicious about it,” Cesca replied and shrugged nonchalantly in response to my question. I was glad there was nothing ostensibly shady about that, at least.

I managed to distract the kids from the list and prevented them from getting any weird items. But, interestingly enough, Ney and Lycee were avidly perusing the items available.

Melle was an unusual Dominant Construct who had traveled through various worlds and evolved into something beyond a Phrase. She also read all kinds of things in Babylon’s library during her imprisonment, so she had considerable knowledge about many subjects. Sex was one of them, so she wasn’t all that curious about the listed items. Come to think of it, her knowledge of sex was probably what resulted in Allis being born. However, Ney and Lycee were pure Dominant Constructs, so they weren’t exposed to more biological methods of procreation. Thus, they looked at the list with childlike curiosity and lack of knowledge.

“Hey, Endymion. This S&M Wooden Horse... Is it a dish served with horse? The S must stand for salt, yes? But what of the M?”

“Uh... It’s not really something you eat...”

“...This killer swimsuit... What’s so lethal about it?”

“Uh... That’s, uhhh... Hey, Touya! Little help here?”

What do you want me to do, man? Sounds like a you problem.

Just as all hope seemed lost, a helping hand came in to save Ende.

“Ney, Lycee. Why don’t we purchase this accessory set? I think it might be nice for Allis.”

“Ooh! Accessories? You’re right! That kind of thing would be perfect, Lady Melle!”

“Allis is so pretty that she’d look good in just about anything from this set.”

Ney and Lycee smiled as Melle led them away from the more dangerous items... She was certainly good at taking command. The others ended up making safe choices, but honestly, I was kind of interested in some of the naughtier stuff... I neglected to pick any, though... I was in far too chaste company for that.

Guess I’ll go with the animal ears set... Wait, what’s everyone looking at me funny for?

“That’s cute...” Elna mumbled as she looked at one of the items that materialized in my hands.

“Huh? Wanna try them on?”

“Yeah!” Elna exclaimed as she came running over to me with a huge smile on her face.

Heh, that’s my girl. She’s so cute! All right, let’s give her these doggy ears.

When I put the dog ears on Elna’s head, they changed color to match her hair. The ears even started twitching a bit, like they were real.

Wait...she’s got a tail too? Oh! I guess it’s a hologram.

The tail started wagging, apparently influenced by Elna’s happy mood.

...Huh. Guess my daughter’s a beastman now!

“O-Oh... Y-You bought it to give to a child, of course you did. I see, I do. That makes sense, it does.”

...I mean, yeah. Who else was I gonna buy it for? Although, I guess it’d look cute on you too, Yae... And the others, actually. Wait, did they stare at me earlier because they thought I’d bought it for them?

“Wow, sis! You look cute! Dad, me too! Pleaaase!”

“Mhm, hold still.”

I gave Linne a set of wolf ears so she could be a matching canine with Elna. And just like it had with Elna, Linne’s tail manifested about her lower body and started swishing around.

“Awawaaah! Y-You’re so cute! Like...double cute! You were cute before, but now... Aaagh!”

The sight of Linne in animal ears sent Linze into a tizzy. It always made me laugh whenever Linze praised Linne’s cuteness, since they both looked pretty similar to me. It was like self-praise. They were both insanely attractive if you asked me!

“Oh, that is cute. Father, can I have a set as well?”

“And me, please.”

“Grand Duke, gimme some too!”

Quun, Frei, and Allis all came running over. Ende glared at me a little, but I shrugged it off.

Okay... Quun gets fox ears, Frei can have cat ears...and I’ve got rabbit ears for Allis.

The kids, who were now at least two degrees cuter than usual, all started playing around and laughing with each other.

...Damn, this is pretty great.

There was a set of round mouse ears too, but I decided to hide those away. We were making a theme park, so I felt like that was just tempting interdimensional legal trouble.

“Seems like everyone’s having fun.”

“Mhm. The kids are really having a good time. I’m glad. We’ll have to make sure our own park is as good as this.”

Yumina and I smiled as we watched over the laughing kids. A theme park needed to be fun, so I hoped we could make a good one too.

“Where would you all like me to take you next?”

“Hm... We just exercised our bodies here, so how about a place to exercise the mind?” Leen quickly piped up in response to Cesca’s question.

Exercising the mind? Like a quiz or puzzle corner?

“Hmhm... An intellectual area, you mean? The wood zone sounds best, then. Let’s be off.”

Cesca touched the monolith and we headed through the portal once more. A blinding light filled our vision before dissipating and revealing a new landscape.

“What’s this...?”

We were in a vast garden. It wasn’t just a basic garden, though, as we were standing on a slightly elevated area overlooking a massive hedge maze. It was a veritable labyrinth of green.

“Wow, amazing!”

“This is the labyrinthian garden. It’s actually a creation of yours truly, Francesca,” Cesca puffed her chest out with pride as she spoke. That made sense, all things considered. Cesca was the terminal gynoid assigned to Babylon’s garden. Her ability when it came to cultivating plant life was second to none. She regularly came down to stun and shock the royal gardeners at the castle.

In the middle of the maze, I could see that there was a big white gazebo and a beautiful rose garden. I’d seen gardens like this back on Earth.

“We could probably make something like this in Brunhild.”

Hell, you could make it anywhere with Earth magic. I bet nobles would love the idea of having private maze gardens.

“Oh, don’t simply judge this garden at a glance. This maze is a fantastic attraction filled with fascinating tricks. It’s no mere greenery.”

“...That isn’t really reassuring.”

Frankly, anything fascinating to Cesca was immediately suspicious to me. Part of me wanted to pack up and go home immediately.

“Hm... So if the rose garden in the middle is the goal...where’s the entrance?” Leen tapped her chin as she glanced over the maze and asked that question. She raised a good point. I couldn’t actually see any entrances. Was it incomplete, perhaps?

Cesca simply pointed over at a stone platform nearby. It was elevated, resembled a manhole, and the stone was engraved with magical etchings. Then I noticed another stone circle next to it. One was white, while the other was blue. I had no idea what they were.

“The blue circle is connected to the exit. It’s how you leave the middle area. The white circle is the entrance. It’ll drop you at a random position within the labyrinth.”

“Interesting... So the starting point is randomized, then?”

“Indeed. Don’t worry, though. After a certain period of time, all participants will be warped to the exit. It’s impossible to become lost forever. If you don’t want to participate, you’re also free to join me at the exit.”

Oh, I don’t have to join in this time? This one might be a bit tricky, to be honest... Think I’ll just sit it out.

“This sounds fun!”

“Dad, c’mon! Let’s do it!”

Frei and Linne began tugging at my sleeves. Their tails were frantically swishing.

Crap... They’re too cute! H-How can I sit out when they’re begging me like this?!

Elze, Linze, Hilde, Leen, Sakura, and Sue said they wanted to participate. Yumina, Lu, and Yae decided to sit it out, though. The latter three didn’t seem like the type to enjoy a maze as much, so that seemed fair.

Elze and Hilde weren’t all that interested, but they had to acquiesce to their daughter’s demands. Leen also wasn’t tremendously interested, but Quun implored her to join in because she was curious about what made the maze an intellectually stimulating attraction.

As for Ende’s group, Melle and Lycee opted out. Allis seemed like she was raring to go, though.

“Very well, then. Step in one at a time. Your position will be randomized, and you’ll be spaced out evenly. Order doesn’t matter. There will be blue teleport spots within the maze if you get tired and wish to forfeit.”

Well, at least there’s an easy way out... Guess if I get tired I can just bail on it. That’s not so bad.

“Let’s goooooo!” Linne roared as she dashed forward, her wolf ears twitching excitedly. She hopped onto the white stone and warped away.

“Oh, Touya. Look. It’s Linne.”

“Huh?”

Lu pointed over at the maze, and I could make out Linne’s figure... Just barely, though. She was quite a way away from the goal.

Wow, that’s some distance to cover... Hm... So how does she get to the goal from there? I can’t actually... Hrm... Let’s see...

As I looked over the maze, I saw other little blips appear where the kids warped in.

Eventually, it was my turn. I stepped up on the stone and my vision changed in a flash. In front of me was a long pathway flanked by three-meter hedges, while behind me was a dead end.

No choice but to go forward, I guess! Wonder if I should turn left or right at the end here...

There were various methods to get out of mazes, but a famous trick was to place one hand on a wall and keep it there, using it to guide your way through and prevent yourself from getting mixed up. However, that method kind of relied on having a proper starting point...and for all I knew, I was in the middle of the maze, so using that technique could result in me walking in circles.

“Well, whatever, I’ll just take it as I go.”

I turned right at the end of the path. Why? It just felt like the...right thing to do! That was all there was to it.

I took another right turn and found myself in front of a dead end... Or rather, there was a large door in my way.

“What is this?” I mumbled as I grabbed the knob and tried to open it. However, it wouldn’t budge. When I looked more closely at the door, I noticed a golden plaque on it... I could barely make out the writing, which seemed to be in Partheno’s language.

I was just about to activate my translation magic, but the text suddenly switched into something I could understand without me doing anything. Cesca’s work, no doubt.

Okay, let’s see what this says...

“Sing as loud as you can and the path shall open.”

...What? What the hell is this? Ugh... I definitely should’ve sat out...

◇ ◇ ◇

“Sing as loud as you can and the path shall open.”

The moment I saw those words engraved on the door, I turned around and walked away.

...I have to sing loud, here? Seriously? I’d rather not... Pass.

I headed back and took another path this time. Then, I hit another junction after a little while, so I took a right.

“Hey, hold it...”

I thought I’d hit the same door again, but this one was colored a little differently. I narrowed my eyes as I read what was engraved on the golden plaque by the door. With any luck, it wouldn’t ask me to sing again.

“Take off your clothes and flex those bulging muscles. Only then shall the path open.”

“CESCAAAAAA!” I screamed out to the heavens in contempt for a certain maid, who was probably waiting at the goal already.

Why would I flex my muscles here?! I don’t even really have bulging muscles! Sure I’m pretty toned, since I train with Moroha and all, but I’m not on the level of the beastking, or the king of Felsen!

“Damn it... So it’s singing or flexing...”

I didn’t mind the singing part, but the part specifying I had to be loud was annoying. This place wasn’t soundproof, so people nearby could’ve been able to hear me. That’d be embarrassing... If only Sakura were with me, she’d have been happy to sing.

...Maybe I should flex? It’s not like anyone’ll see me, right? And I only have to do it for a moment...

I took off my coat, revealing the basic shirt beneath. I rolled up one of my sleeves and flexed my bicep. A beep rang out, and the color at the bottom of the door changed slightly. I rolled up my other sleeve and flexed that bicep. Another beep came, and more of the door changed color. About a tenth of the door, starting at the bottom, was now a fresh color.

...Is it changing color based on me flexing? Do I have to change the whole door before it opens? This is goddamn ridiculous!

I flexed my biceps again, but the color didn’t change.

Crap... Do I have to show off a different muscle?

I sighed and took my shirt off, revealing my bare upper body. It wasn’t cold, thankfully enough, since the local area seemed to have a regulated temperature. I didn’t really know how to flex, though... It wasn’t something I’d made a habit of doing before.

Uhhh...

I tried to pose like a bodybuilder, tensing both of my biceps at once. If I remembered right, that was called the double biceps pose. The name was fairly self-explanatory. I wasn’t exactly a bodybuilder, though... The color only changed a little bit more. If I was more buff, I had a feeling it might’ve filled up more. I turned around and struck the same pose, this time tensing my back as well. This time I was showing off a rear double biceps pose. Even though my back muscles were fairly pitiful, the door acknowledged them. I got a little into it, so I turned to my side and puffed out my chest. The door continued rising in color.

I put all my strength into the next pose, turning straight toward the door and flexing with two fists balled up in front of me. It was the ultimate bodybuilding pose! The ultra flex! The color finally rose up to the limit, and the door opened up with a clatter...revealing Quun on the other side, staring at me in disbelief.

“Uh?”

Her expression was blank for a moment, but it quickly turned into a grin. She whipped out her phone and snapped a photo of me.

“W-Wait! You can’t take a picture of me without permission!”

“I wasn’t aware you were this kind of deviant, father. Goodness me... I’ll have to tell mother about this.”

“W-Wait, hold on! I was just following the instructions! Look here!”

I gestured to the plaque on the door. I didn’t want my kid thinking I was some weird exhibitionist... Though I did get a little carried away. Quun looked over the plaque, then shrugged and nodded. Thankfully, she seemed to understand the situation.

“The requirement was different on the other side. Though it seems once it’s opened once, you can freely use the door from then on.”

Quun opened the door and closed it a few times as if to illustrate her point. I glanced at the plaque on her side to see what the challenge would’ve been coming in from that way, and it said, “If you go ten seconds without blinking, the door shall surely open.”

The hell? That one’s way easier. Does the challenge vary by person or something?

“It’s a dead end back where I came from, father. What about your way?”

“Oh, uh, there’s another door, but...” I put my shirt back on as I explained the layout I’d experienced to Quun. I considered asking her to delete that photo, but I had a feeling it was a lost cause.

If the passage she’d come from was a dead end, then I’d have no choice but to sing. The thought was embarrassing... But my daughter had just caught me flexing my muscles, so maybe it wasn’t actually so bad. Plus, Quun could sing...or the two of us could sing together. That was a bit less embarrassing than singing on my own.

I headed to the other door with Quun. The inscription was still the same, as I expected it to be. Once Quun finished reading it, a cruel grin spread across her face.

“Well then, father. Feel free to sing as much as you like.”

“Huh?! What about you?!”

Wh-What?! I thought you’d at least sing with me! Damn it. If I knew things were gonna pan out this way then I’d have just chosen this door to begin with!

“...C-Can’t we uh...together?”

“Sing.”

“But, uh, if there’s two of us...”

“Sing.”

Damn it all... She’s not gonna let me get out of this without singing, is she? What am I even gonna sing?

My preference greatly tilted toward music from the West over Japanese music. I felt a bit more confident singing Western songs, too, since the people around me usually couldn’t understand the lyrics.

In the end, I settled on one of my grandpa’s favorites. It was a song by an early pop singer from the 1950s. The song was apparently about a boy’s feelings for an older woman. Namely, his younger brother’s babysitter. He made his debut with the song at the age of sixteen and quickly rose to stardom. His lyrics felt almost prayer-like in their quality, the way he discarded the shackles of age and professed a pure kind of adoration.

When the song ended, the door clattered open.

Whew...

I looked off to the side and saw Quun snickering... Then I saw the phone in her hand.

“This’ll make for a fine video.”

“What?!”

Erase that! No! Stop playing it! I don’t wanna hear my own voice! Nooo! I’m gonna cringe, stop it!

“...By the way, the woman you were singing about isn’t a lover of yours, is she?”

“Obviously not! It’s just the song lyrics!”

Don’t say stuff like that, you moron! My wives’ll chop me up and put me in a stew!

Quun teased a little more before finally snickering and slipping her phone into her pocket. She was a wretched little thing at times.

“The way’s clear, father. Let us proceed apace.”

“Ugh... Fine...” I dejectedly followed after Quun. The pathway snaked left and right a few times, but there were no crossroads to choose between. It took a while for us to reach our next one.

“Which way?”

“I’m not really picky, Quun. Wherever you think’s best.”

“Hm... I have a feeling if we go left, we might loop back, so let’s go right.”

I followed after Quun and headed down the rightward path. After some time, we heard a girl’s voice.

“Bwuh! Another dead end! Jeez!”

“That voice...”

“It’s Linne.”

Apparently, Linne was right on the other side of the hedge. We stopped when we heard her.

“Linne! You there?”

“Linne?”

“Huh? Daaad? Quun?”

Her voice came back from the other side, confirming our suspicions.

“Are you two together? No fair... I wanna be there too!”

“Well, we just happened to meet up...”

It wasn’t like I’d planned to bump into Quun. If the path took us to Linne, we’d be able to join up too.

“Oh, I know! I can jump over the hedge!”

Just as I was about to question whether or not that was a good idea, I heard a dull thud, a yelp of pain, and then a clatter as if Linne had fallen to the ground.

“H-Hey, you okay?!”

“Owie... I bumped my head... There’s some kinda invisible roof up there!”

Apparently, there was some manner of force field above the maze that prevented one from leaping over the hedges.

“Don’t bother trying again. If we’re lucky, we’ll be able to meet up along the way. I’d suggest you keep moving for now.”

“Aww... Okay. I’ll keep moving for now.”

I listened closely and heard the sound of Linne dashing off. Quun and I proceeded as well, hoping that we might be able to bump into Linne along the way.

After a short time, we came to a small open space... It was some kind of plaza. The area was the size of a small garden, with a signpost in the middle and another one of those annoying doors on the other side. We headed toward the sign in the middle of the area, only for a trap to trigger! The ground rose up and covered the entrance we’d just come in from, sealing us in!

“...Take the bird into your hand and the door shall surely open...”

I was befuddled, but then a chicken suddenly manifested out of thin air.

“CLUCK. CLUCK. CLUCK. BAWK. CLUCK.”

...Why is it speaking in a baritone voice?! Why is it perfectly pronouncing the words instead of making the actual chicken sounds?

I eyed the chicken suspiciously... It was kind of freaking me out. It had powerful, alluring eyes. I’d never seen a chicken so handsome in my life.

“That’s the bird the sign’s talking about, right?”

“Presumably. If we can catch it, the door should open.”

Sounds easy enough. Let’s get it done.

I walked over to the chicken, but it promptly started shaking and dashed away from me.

Ugh...

I approached it. It fled. I approached it again. It fled again. I ran in fast! It ran away just as swiftly!

“BAWK. BAWK. BAAAWK.”

I chased the chicken with all my might.

This thing’s fast! It’s no ordinary chicken at all! I knew it! If I could only use [Accel], this thing would be done for!

“Everything okay, father?”

“Huh?! Oh, uh, ha ha ha! Yeah! All good! Lemme get it, don’t worry about it!”

Crap! If I don’t hurry up I’m gonna lose all my daughter’s respect!

I changed my approach, slowly backing the chicken into a corner and making a feint... I had it trapped like a rat...except it was a chicken, so it was trapped like a chicken! When the chicken stopped moving, I made a diving tackle toward it.

You’re mine, shitbird!

But before I could grab it, the chicken spread its wings wide and flew up into the air.

...What the hell?!

“BAAAWK. BAAAAWK.”

The chicken landed on my head and jumped off behind me. I turned around, glaring at it... I could only see mockery in its eyes. It was taunting me, silently making light of my ineptitude.

You little bastard! Who do you think you are, huh?! How about I come over there and—

“Pff... Are you doing alright there, father?”

“Ha ha... Ha ha ha ha... H-He’s just a slippery little guy, is all.”

I groaned quietly and took my coat off, handing it over to Quun for safekeeping. I wasn’t going to forgive this chicken... It had humiliated me, made a mockery of me... This chicken had to learn who was boss!

“Goodness me... What childish things men can be...”

I heard Quun’s murmuring, but I pretended not to. There were some battles a man couldn’t turn away from, and while this wasn’t a battle, it was still pretty damn important!

Your mocking days are over, chicken! I’m not gonna take it anymore! I’m gonna put an end to you and your cruel, silent judgment!

◇ ◇ ◇

“There we go!”

“BAWKBAWKBAWWWWK!”

A short while later, I successfully had the chicken caught by the neck.

That’s what you get, you little bastard!

“Heh heh heh heh... Now... Shall we fry you up? Serve you with some noodles? How about some tasty chicken nanban, huh?!”

“BAWK?! CAWCAWBAAAAAAWK?!”

“Father... Are you sure this is the best use of our time?” Quun’s irritated muttering snapped me back to my senses.

Damn it all... I’ve made a fool of myself in front of her!

Just as I wondered how to make the situation better, the chicken vanished from my grasp in a puff of smoke.

Huh? What happened?

“The door’s open now. Let’s carry on.”

“Oh, sure.”

Quun went through the newly-opened door, so I followed on after her.

Maybe she always saw me as a fool...

“Fear not. I recorded your encounter with the bird.”

“You what?!”

Why does she keep recording humiliating stuff like that?!

My shoulders slumped, but Quun simply giggled. She certainly liked taking photos and videos...

“It’s something of a hobby... I’ll likely outlive everyone around me, you know... Most of my family included. No harm in chronicling things so I don’t forget, right?”

Mmm... I guess that’s something I hadn’t considered.

My children were beneficiaries of God Almighty’s blessing through my own divinity, and that effectively made them demigods. They had considerable potential compared to other people, but their lifespans weren’t that much longer than the rest of their kind.

Out of all my kids, Quun would probably live the longest. She was a fairy, after all. She was only ten years old, but she was already thinking about preserving our memories... That was kind of rough.

I reached out to stroke Quun’s silver hair, ruffling it gently. My daughter closed her eyes and smiled.

“Don’t worry, father. I have a long life ahead of me, so I’ll probably be the last to marry. I’ll stay with you the longest.”

“Hm... I’m not so sure...”

I’d be sad to see her married off too soon, but I also wanted her to flourish as an adult...

“I’ll be sure to marry before I reach six hundred.”

“That’s a long time!”

We carried on through the hedge maze, talking about a topic that would probably annoy Leen. Eventually, we came to a branching path again... It was another left or right choice.

“Father.”

“Huh?”

Quun suddenly tugged at my sleeve. She pointed down the rightward path. I looked over at where she was pointing and saw a very distressed Elna dashing our way.

“D-Dad! Quun!”

“Elna?”

She ran right toward us and gave me a big hug. Then, she hugged Quun with all her might. The poor little thing had tears in her eyes.

“Thank goodness... I kept hearing other people, but I couldn’t get to them...so I just kept walking in circles...” Elna said she’d bumped into several doors, but she didn’t want to go through most of them.

Seems smart to me. You shouldn’t have to force yourself to do things you don’t want to do! We’ll get out of here together, no problem.

“What kind of stuff were the doors telling you to do?”

“Ah? Uhm...one of them said...show me your o-face? And another one said to whisper sweet nothings... I didn’t really understand...”

“CESCAAAA!” I cursed the name of our idiotic maid.

Stop trying to teach my kid weird stuff, damn it! That’s my little girl you’re messing with, you psycho!

Elna seemed more confused than anything else, and even Quun was frowning. She was clearly as annoyed by the gratuitous sexual harassment as I was.

“Quun... What’s an o-face?”

“You don’t need to know that right now, Elna. Just calm down, it’ll be okay.”

Quun gave her sister a big hug and a gentle smile. Elna glanced at me, question marks practically showing in her eyes, but she shrugged and accepted the sisterly cuddle.

We continued on, as a trio, down the left-hand side.

Are we gonna be able to get out any time soon? If I could see it from above that’d be easier, but there’s a damn barrier in the way. I can’t even use magic... Wait... Hold on a second. We can’t use magic because there’s a mana dampening effect in place, yeah? So we can’t access texting, the phone map, and other functions that rely on atmospheric mana... But Quun’s camera still works! So only the internet and phone parts of the smartphones don’t work. The mass-produced smartphones, at least. How could I forget the fact that my phone’s different? It’s a sacred treasure! I could use it even back on Earth, a place with no atmospheric mana. If that’s the case, then maybe...

As Quun and Elna walked on ahead, I took my phone out and quietly tried to activate the map app.

“...Ha ha! Bingo!”

“What is it, dad?”

“Huh?! Oh, uh, nothing!”

“Really?”

I spoke quietly, but I couldn’t help but strike a victory pose...prompting Elna to turn around and question me.

...Crap. Hopefully she doesn’t think I’m being suspicious.

I looked down at my phone with a wide grin on my face. The map worked perfectly... I could see my current location, as well as the layout of the entire maze.

This is God Almighty’s power... This is how I win! Thanks, old man! With this, I can finally win back some fatherly pride!

As I quietly gave my thanks, my phone vibrated. It was a text message from God Almighty.

Huh?

I narrowed my eyes and read what it said. ‘Do not play dirty! You cannot win respect through cheap tricks!’

...He’s watching me?! And judging me too?! Maaan!

◇ ◇ ◇

“Oh! Father!”

“Elna’s there too!”

I turned my head and saw two figures bounding toward me. One had cat ears, while the other had wolf ears. They both kicked off the ground and hug-tackled me.

Ack?!

“Bwaugh!”

I took two heavy hits to the upper body, but I still managed to stay on my feet.

Crap... I’m gonna break my spine! Aaagh!

“Frei, Linne... Don’t divebomb our father. Our mothers will scold you, you know?”

“Aww... But it’s fun...”

“Ohhh... I don’t wanna get lectured by mother again...”

Quun’s words caused the two girls to back off.

My spine... My spiiine... Gh... [Cure Heal]!

I applied some recovery magic to myself... Those girls were way too powerful.

Linne scurried around me, her wolfish ears flickering.

“Where are our moms?”

“Not sure... We haven’t seen Linze and the others yet.”

“Aww...”

What, is your dad not enough? How lonely...

“Come to think of it, all your daughters are here. Are you happy about that, father?”

“Sure I am... But it’s just a coincidence...” Quun snickered at me, but I wasn’t sure if it actually was a coincidence... This game was set up by that idiotic maid, so there was no guarantee this wasn’t all going the way she wanted it to.

“...Is this a plot to bring all my daughters together and show them my worst sides, perhaps...”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Quun had gazed at me so coldly... Elna had gotten suspicious of me...

Was I just dancing in the palm of her hand?! Was this the intent the whole time?!

“Let’s put father’s paranoia aside and move on for now. Maybe we’ll find our mothers.”

Quun led the way, and all the girls followed.

She’s right... I shouldn’t dwell on it. Let’s just keep going for now.

We headed the opposite way to where Linne and Frei had come from. We carried on, passing some tricky doors along the way...but it went relatively well overall. Despite the hangups, it felt like we were nearing our goal.

“Ohhh! It’s Mama Yumina!” Linne shouted as she turned a corner.

I turned the same one and saw a straight path to an open area. The sight brought me an immense sense of relief. I saw Yumina, Yae, Lu, Melle, and Lycee. They were sitting around a table, sipping tea. It was everyone who hadn’t participated.

Damn it... I should’ve skipped this one with them... Either way, we’ve made it... We’re at the goal! There can’t be any more tricks between here and there, right? Right?

“I’m gonna be fiiirst!” Linne roared as she dashed ahead.

Wait!

I charged full pelt forward and got ahead of Linne. I wasn’t trying to steal victory from her or anything, that’d be a little bit too petty.

I know this trick! There’s always a final trap right in front of the goal! I gotta make sure it’s safe!

As I stepped forward, my feet started sinking into the ground.

Oh?!

“Daaad?!”

And then I heard the sound of a package breaking open above me... I fell forward, covered in white powder.

This... This is way too elaborate!

Thankfully, I didn’t get hurt by the impact. There were cushions in the pitfall I’d collapsed into. It wasn’t that deep either.

“D-Dad. Are you okay?!”

“Yeah... I’m okay... I’m used to this by now...” I said as I smiled up at Elna, who seemed overly concerned.

Blegh... It got in my mouth... Why’d she have to burst a bag of flour over me?

I crawled out of the pit, dusting the flour off me. Linne and the others started patting me to dust it off too, but they were hitting me a little bit too hard... It started to hurt...

“Let’s cross the goal together!”

At Frei’s urging, the four girls grabbed my arms. We all ran across the goal together. Yumina and the others were already waiting to greet us with a cheerful round of applause.

...I’m not sure whether to be happy or embarrassed.

“Congratulations. You’re the first to arrive.”

“Oh, really? Where are the others?”

“Still inside. Seems like they’re having a hard time.”

Cesca gestured toward a large monitor suspended over the garden square. When I turned to see what she’d pointed out, I saw Elze and Linze stacking rectangular blocks together in a big pile.

Oof... It collapsed... Elze looks like she’s just about had it...

There was another feed. This one showing Sue and Sakura jumping along circles on the ground. It was like they were playing a rhythm game.

Huh... So you can see everything from here...

Wait... WAIT!

“...Hey, uh, you guys didn’t see me earlier, right?”

Yumina and the others averted their gaze.

...They saw me. Oh god, they saw me... It wasn’t just my daughters who’ve seen a bad side of me today... It was my wives too... And Ende’s wives! Damn this twisted game!

“U-Uhm... I think your vocal performance was lovely!” Lu exclaimed, breaking the silence.

S-Stop... Please just stop... My HP bar’s already at zero... I should never have joined this game. I should’ve known the moment I knew Cesca was in charge. How many times has she ruined my day, now?

“Hey, dad! It’s the exit! Moms are there, and the others!”

I saw Ende, Allis, and Ney coming toward the finish line. Something told me the fact that they’d grouped up wasn’t a coincidence either.

Allis ran toward us.

Huh? The pit’s gone... Wait, no...it’s just covered again! It reset!

“Allis! Jump!”

“Huh? Ah! Hup!”

Allis found her bunny ears twitching in response to Melle’s call. She quickly leaped into the air, avoiding the trap and clearing the goal.

Allis ran over to Melle, who pulled her into a big hug while Lycee ruffled her hair.

“Jeez, we finally got to the— GAAAH!”

“Endymion?!”

Oh, Ende fell into the trap...

Ney failed to stop him from tumbling forward and getting covered in flour.

...Cesca, please don’t strike a victory pose. You’re being too obvious.

“...” Ende quietly squirmed out of the hole, covered in flour. He then patted himself down before glancing over at me. He must have noticed the flour clinging to my hair and shoulders. All he could offer was a wry smile.

...I know how you feel, man... But hey, let’s just be thankful our kids were spared this fate...

Eventually, Sue arrived with Sakura, Elze with Linze, and Hilde with Leen. I made sure to warn them all about the pitfall.

“It was harder than I thought it’d be...”

“The maze was fun enough, but I could’ve gone without all the traps and tricks. We’ll remove them when it comes to making our own, I hope.”

I couldn’t help but agree with Hilde. We wanted to make this an enjoyable attraction for kids and parents alike, rather than a hellhole.

“So, what next?”

“I want to ride a roller coaster! Do they have one here?”

“A rolly coaster? I’m afraid I know of no such thing,” Cesca said that and shrugged her shoulders in response to Frei’s question. Ende, Melle, Ney, and Lycee seemed equally confused...but my family knew about them.

I assumed that my kids must have ridden one in the future...or something like that.

Sue, Sakura, Yae, and Lu seemed excited about roller coasters too. They hadn’t ridden one before, but they knew them from videos I’d shown them. Hilde, Elze, and Yumina looked more nervous about the prospect. Leen and, perhaps more surprisingly, Linze didn’t really seem all that concerned.

When you think about it, Linze’s Helmwige is an aerial specialist... When it transforms into flight mode, it probably feels like being on a roller coaster. She might just be used to it at this point.

“A roller coaster is an amazing ride! You go on rails! You spin around! You fall and drop...and even fly upward!”

Hold on, Frei... Fly? What the hell did the future me build?!

“Then it’s a vehicle... It must be a ride that pushes fear, excitement, and other such feelings to the limit. In that case, the wind zone may be the closest approximation.”

Huh... Do they have a roller coaster here after all? I guess even ancient civilizations must have had thrill seekers. Then again, I guess it makes sense. Doc Babylon’s kind of the ultimate thrill seeker, and this was her personal testing ground...

Cesca placed her hand on a monolith, triggering the portal once more. Our kids cheerily charged through, and we followed after them. I passed through the gateway, and light filled my vision once more. When it cleared, I saw a wonderful sight.

The first thing that came to mind was an old western cowboy movie. It was a dry, desert area. A red rock canyon stretching as far as the eye could see. There was a wooden building in front of us that resembled some kind of old-fashioned train station. It was the only building here... I saw a cactus in the distance. Or at least...I assumed it was a cactus. For some reason, it seemed more menacing than usual, but that was probably my imagination.

“This is a facility in which you can ride a magical train and see various scenes. I believe if I modify it slightly, it should become similar to what Lady Frei described as a rolly coaster.”

A magic train, huh? I heard the ancient civilization had those, but I didn’t think they’d use them recreationally. So this must be a station, huh?

They’d excavated a train from some ancient ruins in Felsen, so the first new magic train in five thousand years was currently being developed over there. With the support of our ether liquid and mana batteries, of course.

When I entered the station, I saw a rather compact magic train inside... It was actually quite similar in appearance to a roller coaster. It was made up of several connected small cars. But unlike a roller coaster, they had roofs. It could hold up to ten people in total. Each cart had room for two people, and there were five overall. That meant we’d have to split the group up and do two rides.

I glanced over at the rail, but it was more like a plate than anything else. It was made of earth, and kind of resembled those toy train tracks you could connect... At least it wasn’t made of plastic. I looked a little closer at the rail and noticed it was cut off a little bit ahead.

Wait...is this unfinished?

“No, the rear panels shift forward as the train moves forward. It connects instantly, allowing the rail to move indefinitely beyond any one set track.”

“Oh! A shifting auto-rail! I’ve heard of that before, but I’ve yet to see it in action!” Quun’s eyes lit up as she responded to Cesca. So apparently my future roller coaster didn’t use this system.

“So...who’s riding?”

“Umm... Hilde, Leen, Elze, Linze. You can go with your respective daughters. We can decide the rest of the seating through rock paper scissors.”

I figured it’d be less scary for the kids if their mothers were with them... Though I had a feeling for some of them, their mothers might be more scared.

When Ende heard my suggestion, he turned to his daughter, “Hey Allis. Wanna ride with me?”

“Uh? Naw. I wanna ride with one of my moms!”

Ende looked absolutely dejected upon hearing that. A rock, paper, scissors match began between Melle, Ney, and Lycee to determine who had the honor of riding with Allis. At first I was surprised they knew how to play the game, but I realized they’d probably picked it up from seeing kids play it in Brunhild.

“All right, let’s do ours too. The winners can ride first, then the losers can ride after.”

Hopefully I lose pretty fast so I can see it in action... If it looks bad, maybe I should just back out. All right! Time to lose! I’m pretty bad at rock, paper, scissors... Just gotta count on that bad luck!

◇ ◇ ◇

Eventually, the pairings were decided. I ended up winning the tenth round...so I just barely made it into the first group.

Why didn’t I lose, damn it?! Well...it’s whatever... Maybe it’ll be okay...

“Why’d I have to get saddled with you...”

“I won ninth, and you won tenth...”

Ende, who sat next to me on the coaster, sighed quietly.

Well...it is what it is...

The pairings ended up being Hilde and Frei, Yae and Sakura, Lu and Lycee, Leen and Quun, then Ende and me.

Yumina very suspiciously lost against me at the last second. I had a feeling she’d peeked into the future... She was usually a guaranteed winner.

“Hey, Touya. There are no seat belts... Is this safe?”

“I was wondering the same thing.”

Roller coasters usually had a device that strapped you in for safety purposes... But this wasn’t a roller coaster by design, so maybe it’d be fine. There was a handrail to hold, but that didn’t really do much to soothe my nerves.

“Worry not. Once it starts operating, gravity magic will trigger and hold you in place. Even if you were jostled enough to throw you out, you’d stay safe. It’s quite fine.”

“...That isn’t reassuring.”

...Jostled enough to throw us out? Is she just exaggerating?

“How’s the track on this thing, anyway?”

“Track? This ride is variable, I can manually adjust how it operates. Just as I was asked, I’ve ensured it’ll terrify and thrill.”

With that, Cesca slapped a touch screen on the platform. Then she did it again. And again. And again. And again. It started to frantically beep.

I don’t know what that does, but she’s pushing it too much! Is she trying to max it out?!

“Safe travels, and good luck.”

“W-Wait! What does that mean?!”

Before I had the chance to question Cesca any further, the train whooshed on ahead.

I turned around and saw the track panels behind us vanishing. That meant they were going around the front... The shape of the track was a complete mystery, though...

“T-Touya, it’s ascending!”

I looked ahead and noticed the train was slowly rising into the air at a gradual incline.

“How’s it floating like that? Spatial magic, maybe?” Quun, who was sitting in front of me, was already mulling over the mechanics of the ride. She was a bit calm... Much like her mother in that regard, really. They both had the same spirit of curiosity, that was for sure.

We continued ascending into the sky... I could see more of the zones in the distance. I narrowed my eyes at a certain point far away and saw the Slime ranch.

“H-Hey, just how high are we going?!” Ende asked, looking tremendously nervous.

...I thought this was just gonna be like a normal roller coaster, but we’re just going higher and higher... Anyone would get anxious.

It was wrong of me to assume this would work like a regular coaster... It was an ancient train, after all. I waited with bated breath as the train continued ascending... And then I saw it... A sharp, perpendicular drop right ahead!

“Gah!”

I felt an insane wind pressure as I dropped. I was used to heights due to my liberal use of the [Fly] spell, but even I couldn’t help but be terrified as we hurtled toward the ground. Just before we made impact with the earth below, the train pulled up rapidly and began twisting... My vision inverted, my whole body spun upside down. We were doing a big loop.

“AAAAAGH!” Ende was screaming uncontrollably by my side. It was probably a good thing he hadn’t ridden with Allis... Her image of him would’ve been shattered... But honestly, if I was riding with one of my girls, they’d think the exact same thing of me...

The train looped twice, thrice, and then began soaring freely through the air. It reached a certain height, then plunged into a downward spiral again. It was intense. The strain on my body from the pure centrifugal force was more intense than anything I’d ever felt before!

Whoa!

I thought we were running straight again, but before I could even process it, we were above a pond, looping and dipping just above the surface of the water.

Make it stooop!

Suddenly, the cart in front of us vanished into thin air. Leen and Quun were gone...and so were all the other carts in front of them. I was so confused. Ende and I were now completely on our own, speeding through a forested area.

“H-Hey, Touya. What happened?!”

“How am I supposed to know?!”

We were just two guys on a roller coaster in the middle of a forest. I had no idea why we’d been split up, but I hoped the others were doing okay.

“Agh! Look out ahead!” Ende’s screaming alerted me to the fact that we were hurtling full-speed toward a huge tree.

We’re gonna crash?!

Just as we were about to hit the tree, the cart moved and we narrowly avoided it... We sighed in relief, but it looped back and barely avoided the tree again... And again... And again!

Cesca’s doing this on purpose!

The train kept on ducking between trees at extreme speed. It was terrifying!

“Touya, over there!”

“Huh?”

I looked over at where Ende was pointing and saw a hole in the dusty earth.

“It’s a cave... Oh no, don’t tell me...”

“Yeah... It’s gonna happen...”

Just as we assumed it would, the train plunged into the opening and carried us into the depths of the earth.

Goddammit!

I could hear wings flapping in the dim light.

Did something just hit me in the face?! Wh-What the hell’s in here with us?! This isn’t a roller coaster anymore!

“GYAAAAAAAAAH!”

The two of us could do nothing but scream as the train hurtled through the darkness.

◇ ◇ ◇

Meanwhile...

“Found you... The king of Panaches himself... Oh, sorry. The prince right now. I have a favor to ask of you, milord.”

“Hm? Have we met before? You have a familiar face... Does Blau remember you, perhaps?”

Prince Robert of Panaches, the pumpkin pants prince, tilted his head as he spoke to Distortion Blau. The blue crown shook its head slowly.

They were in Panacheria, royal capital of Panaches. As Robert made his usual rounds, he was approached by a peculiar young girl. She looked to be around seven or eight years old. Her silvery-green hair was cut short, down to her neck. Her eyes were emerald green. They had a small slant to them, betraying a tenacity beyond her years. Her clothes were rather elegant, they were a design Robert had never seen before...and the two knives strapped at her waist rather offset the dainty look.

Robert sort of recognized her, but he was having trouble placing her. He felt more that he knew someone that resembled her, rather than the girl herself.

“If at all possible, I would like you to take me to Brunhild via your magic. I’m sure my...er... I’m sure the Grand Duke will appreciate you going to the trouble.”

“To Brunhild, you say? Are you perhaps related to Touya? Or, wait...one of his brides?” Robert asked, finally putting the pieces together. She resembled one of the grand duchesses of Brunhild. The one from the Regulus Empire, if he recalled correctly.

“More or less, yes... Good grief, though... To think I’d come out all the way here. And nobody’s answering their phone...” The girl was muttering something, but Robert wasn’t really sure what she meant. That aside, he didn’t detect any malicious intent in her.

“So, young lady, what might I call you?”

“Oh, please excuse me. I am Arcia. Arcia Brunhild. A pleasure to meet you, Prince Panaches,” the girl smiled warmly as she gave her greeting.