“Have you ever felt like you were going to die?” If you were to suddenly ask me something like that, I’d answer, “Yeah, about three times.” I’m not exactly referring to stuff I can look back at and say, “Ah, I could’ve died...” like getting sick or anything. Those instances were fine, I never really treated death as a big deal and kind of took things like that in stride. But there were a few times where the fear of death was there, ready to overtake me... The first time was when I was in elementary school. I grew up in the Tohoku region, and we didn’t typically get a lot of snowfall. But one year it just kept coming and it didn’t stop coming... It was amazing for us kids, though. We just went out and played in the snow all day. Before that point, I’d never even seen enough snow to make a snowman, and it was suddenly there for me to play with!
I remember sitting down on my butt by the side of the road and just watching the snow. I’d even made a little cushion of snow beneath me to rest on. I lowered myself onto my back and enjoyed the day, listening to my friends have a great time... I didn’t notice the snow plow rushing down the street. This thing couldn’t have been a regular plow, it was like a bulldozer! It went right by me and covered me in a tsunami of snow. It took half a second and I was completely engulfed, I remember little me thinking to himself, “Ah... I’m dead...” Snow’s seriously heavy, you know! I couldn’t move an inch. Thankfully, the driver realized and immediately got out of his car to check if I was okay... But I still remember the feeling of being completely immobilized, and how scary it was to think that everything was about to end. The second incident was when I was a high school student. It was a simple accident I might’ve mentioned before. I was riding down my hill on a bike when I lost control and was hit by a car. The bicycle was completely wrecked, but I came out of it unscathed. Even so, I remember thinking to myself at the moment of impact, “So this is it... This is how I die.” I turned out just fine, though. The third incident was also when I was in high school. I ended up going to an abandoned amusement park with a couple of friends one evening. We were on this old rooftop that had this slope along the edge of it... And I guess we were gonna use it as a slide. I followed my friends along the concrete surface, but as I ran, I didn’t realize that I was running over a pane of glass. It was so dirty that it looked the same as the concrete around it. The glass broke right beneath me and revealed a ten-meter drop... That kind of thing would’ve led to a serious injury if I’d hit myself in a bad place. I could barely process what was happening, but I knew I couldn’t let myself fall... Thoughts like, “I’m gonna die...” gave way to, “Jump, you idiot!” and I pushed my legs off the floor and leaped toward the sloped area. It felt like time had slowed down as I soared through the air. Frankly, it was horrifying. I landed on another glass pane that thankfully didn’t break, and I distinctly remember feeling my own heartbeat in my ears... I was sweating like a madman and gasping wildly. Even thinking back to it now makes my heart speed up a little more... In a way, it really made me feel alive, probably because of how close I was to death. As much as I’d want to experience that kind of thrill again, there’s a saying that goes, “A wise man keeps away from danger.” But, you know, danger sometimes finds men, regardless of whether or not they’re wise.
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