Hard to Escape/In Love with a Counterfeit Tall Rich Handsome - Chapter 30.2

Chapter 30.2

I lifted the blanket resting atop the wheelchair to reveal my new red satin shoes .

Enthralled, I ran my hands over them . It was as if they bore the weight of all my dreams . Sitting in the wheelchair, I stuck out my legs, and proudly displayed the shoes . My arms gently swayed .

Then, I finally mustered up all my courage and stood up from the wheelchair . I attempted to take a small step, toe pointed in caution . Then, my face lit up in joy and excitement . I took another step . And another . And another . Finally, my hunched back straightened . Like the lone narcissus flower, I overflowed with self-love and pride, and radiated with light .

I twirled in the air and leapt with joy . The hem of my dress soared .

But then, I saw Yin Xuan, my sister . Her dancing was noble and reserved, and she held her chin high . I wanted to draw closer, but the spotlight that illuminated her was too dazzling . I was blinded by the light and retreated . I hunched over once again . Outside her halo of light, I spun and danced . My posture was crude, and it was as if I was crawling . I started learning from her . However, the shadows we cast were different . Hers was graceful and beautiful . Yet mine, a poor imitation, were seemingly in disarray .

I started venting at my shadow . I chased it, wanting to tear it apart . But this was naturally futile .

Faint applause sounded from the corner my sister was in . And so finally, my face warped into a vile expression .

I was angry . I was resentful .

I leapt towards her in an arching leap . The music crescendoed .  She still danced the same slow, graceful choreography . Yet I seemed to have evolved into the devil . My footwork was chaotic and carried intense emotion . I twirled and leapt nonstop, as if I could draw upon a bottomless well of explosive energy .

I wanted to dance my despair, my tears, and all my envy and struggles .

As a wheelchair-bound girl who was paralyzed for almost my entire life, I was quiet and withdrawn . But at this moment, in my conjured dreamland, I was able to dance, just like my sister . I danced with fervor . The movement of my arms told of all that I had suppressed . My robbed youth that I spent in a wheelchair was embodied in every turn and movement I made .

Every muscle of mine quivered, and I could hear my own heart pounding fiercely .

I was her, and she was me .

I didn’t want to be the handicapped girl who was pitied by others . I also wanted to dazzle onstage; I desperately wanted to show who I was . I wanted everyone’s gazes to fall on me . I wanted everyone to applaud for me .

Because of that, I hated my sister . I hated how she could stand in such a bright place, yet I would never be able to dazzle like her .

Then, Yin Xuan and I exchanged a glance . Under the lights, half of her face was cast in shadow . But her eyes were fixed on me .

She suddenly abandoned the slow, graceful choreography that the director and choreographer had agreed upon . She shook off the “refined” label and leapt to face me . Our faces were inches away from each other . Her gaze was unyielding and wild .

That was the real her .

I danced a move . Then she did the same move in the opposite direction . Our eyes were on fire and between us, there was an unspeakable air .

I danced three difficult moves in a row . Yin Xuan closely followed . We danced nonstop in the air . As one rose, the other fell . It was a fervent battle .

The music became more intense and drowned out the scuffing sounds of our shoes .

I saw the words in her eyes . She was also dancing her role . She was the elder sister, and had cared for her handicapped sister for many years without a single complaint . In her heart, she pitied her sister yet also hated her role as elder sister .

Her expression seemed to say: “Why the hell are you unhappy when I have to endure so much hardship? Why the hell are you able to live an easy life when I’m struggling to survive in the outside world? Why the hell do I have to bind such useless baggage to my wings? You think I’m too dazzling . Yet you never realize that you’re able to live such a comfortable life because of that!”

She danced with the same fervor .

We glared at each other and circled one another from afar . We were sisters who loved but also hated each other .

After the last grand jete, Yin Xuan suddenly closed the between us distance and hugged me around the waist . The dance changed from a sparring battle to a unified duet .

She advanced and I retreated . I soared in the air and she spun on the ground .

It was as if we were one body that was only temporarily separated by dance .

Or as if we were each others’ mirror . I looked at her and she looked at me . Our movements were identical yet unique . We were able to see our own flaws reflected in the other person .

We danced the part of sisters, yet in our hearts we knew that somehow, we were also dancing the roles we played in reality .

We had our differences, and there was deep animosity between us . I hated her, and she hated me . I envied her, and she envied me .

The director didn’t yell cut because of the unexpected turn we had taken .

We continued dancing, as if in a tangle . We weren’t afraid to bear our hearts and express our true selves . I offered a hand to Yin Xuan . She looked at me and quickly responded by crouching in front of me . I stepped on her leg and stood . She then hoisted me in the air, and I struck a soaring pose . After a brief moment of holding the position, we split .

At this time, the music turned harmonious . We returned to our original positions, but this time our dancing was tender . After those tumultuous emotions, we returned to being a loving pair of sisters .

She continued dancing gracefully in her halo of light . Meanwhile, I slowly moved to the rhythm of the music and returned to my wheelchair . I covered my legs with the blanket once more and adopted a peaceful sleeping pose .

The conflicts and sparring became just a dream .

The director seemed to have forgotten to signal the end of the scene . The whole set looked at Yin Xuan and me with their jaws agape . I was drenched in sweat . Yin Li looked at us, his expression worried . Yin Xuan’s face was flushed red, and her gaze wandered . She stood motionlessly in one spot for a moment, then suddenly burst into tears .

The scene had caused her to lose hold of her emotions .

Yin Li had already walked over to comfort her . He brought her home to rest . Before he left, he looked at me profoundly and I met his gaze . My emotions were complicated . No matter if Yin Xuan and I came from two different worlds, and no matter what had happened between us, dance was our common language, that bound us together . Through ballet, we had a strong resonance that others could not understand .

We hated each other, yet understood each other .

This scene not only caused Yin Xuan to lose control of her emotions, but also caused me to feel mentally exhausted . That night, I received her phone call .

She seemed to have returned to normal . Her tone was once more prideful and insufferably arrogant .

“After the shooting of ‘Only I Dance’ has wrapped up, I’ll confess my sins . I’ll hold a press conference and come clean . You will receive what you want, so don’t bother retaliating against me any longer . And don’t use ‘love’ to torment my brother . ”

“To be honest, I’ve always feared you . Even after the car accident, I was still afraid of you . I hated you . You possess everything that I want, and robbed me of everything . To become Madame Taylor’s pupil, I slaved away for ten years . You clearly started learning ballet later than me, yet still surpassed me and took away my spot . What I hate the most is how high and mighty you act . It’s like the rest of us are ants in your eyes . I’ve always hoped to share a stage with you, and compete with you in dance . That way, I could lose and be done with it . ” She sneered, “I wanted to be able to properly convey emotion through ballet and break through that bottleneck . Who would have thought that it would have come today when I danced with you?”

I wanted to say something, but she cut me off . “Listen to me . Let me finish . ”

“It’s true, I knew Li Jing before you did . I was by his side in his darkest hours . Yet later, you appeared . I didn’t recognize my own feelings for him at the time . But then, he became infatuated with you and he didn’t even have the time to meet with me as friends . Now, it’s the same with my brother . Whether it’s ballet, love, friendship, or family, you’ve stolen it all from me . Even to this day, I hate you . ”

I finally couldn’t keep quiet . “You can hate me . But hatred cannot be your excuse to rob me of my life . ”

Yin Xuan laughed over the phone . “You think I lived well afterwards? Once I awoke from my stupor and saw you lying in a puddle of blood, I couldn’t believe myself capable of doing such a thing . I had been blinded by hate to that degree . But alas, you take one wrong step and it’s never the same again . Every second, every moment, I was in fear . But once I returned home and saw you as lively as ever, I knew what living a nightmare really felt like . ”

“Do you know how terrified and hopeless I was at that time? Even my brother, who loved me, stood by your side and protected you . At that time, I was really afraid . I was afraid of you and my brother . I was so afraid I wanted you to immediately disappear . ”

My throat became dry . I opened my mouth yet no words came out .

Yin Xuan’s voice fluctuated with emotion . “It felt stifling . There wasn’t any joy in my life . I hated how ugly I had become, yet I also hated you . That’s why I’ll go turn myself in . I’d rather ruin myself than let you ruin my brother . Tang Yi Yun, or rather Yan Xiao, I want to apologize to you . You have the right to punish me, but you have no right to punish my brother . He’s deserves someone better . ”

Suddenly, I felt horrible and didn’t want to say anything . Once Yin Xuan used this self-destructive method to take responsibility for her wrongdoings, she was fated to have a tragic ending . Moreover, Yin Li and I would have no future together .

“Do not worry . I keep my promises . But right now, I only want to finish shooting this film . This is a good script . As the swan song of my career, it isn’t too bad . After the filming, I’ll have a press conference and come clean with everything . To me, that is also a kind of liberation . ”

Even just from Yin Xuan’s dancing, I could tell that she was an extremist .

“If you have any sense of humanity in you, please don’t tell my brother beforehand . Even if he’ll be hurt in the end, I don’t want him to know ahead of time . I guess this can be my last act of love for him . He’s protected me for so many years, and I also want to be able to protect him . ”

Yin Xuan seemed to have said all that was to be said, and paused . But then she suddenly burst out crying .

Finally, she said over the phone, choking through sobs, “I hate you . I don’t want to accept it . But if I was Madame Taylor, I would have chosen you too . ”