Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 1 - Chapter 6.09

9 

“…Was it okay to let them go with just a truce?” 

Snow seems dubious as we watch Heine hop on her griffin and lead the massive horde of demons away from the city. 

“If they actually wait a month, it’ll be plenty. I’ve got a plan… Still, we actually got through it. Oh, from now on, remember I’m Mr. Six to you lot. Make sure you thank me once a day. I mean, that’s the least you can do, given my contributions, right? Especially you, Snow. You promised I could do anything I want to you, right? You know what happens next, don’t you? Go get in the bath and make yourself all nice and squeaky clean for me.” 

“…Say, I should go down and thank all the soldiers on behalf of the kingdom!” 

“Hey, Six, when your suit cools down, we need to talk about something. I’ll be waiting downstairs.” 

Tillis and Alice, hearing my words, make their way out of the royal chambers. 

“…This is fine. I’m not lonely. It’s not like I wanted them to stay or anything. I’m used to this. Snow is plenty,” I mutter to myself as the room becomes emptier. 

“…Um, Six. I mean, C-Commander… I know this is going to sound awfully convenient for me, but I need to ask a favor of you…” 

Snow says this without her usual confidence, kicking at the floor, then bending down to pick something up. 

“…Well… It’s just that, as a knight, I’d like to continue riding a unicorn… I’m sure you’re well aware of the criteria for being able to ride one… I know I’m being selfish…” 

She cradles the object she picked up in her arms and approaches me as I remain immobilized. 

Is that…? 

Oh Lord, it’s Gadalkand’s head. 

“…I’m sorry, Commander. Don’t feel pressured one way or the other. This is just a request…” 

“What are you doing? Why’d you pick that thing up? Put it down! Don’t come any closer!” 

Snow knits her brow, frowning apologetically. “C-could we…well…wait a while longer before we sleep together…?” 

“Stop! What are you doing?! It’s not good to play with corpses, even if it’s an enemy! Stop! You’re too close! It’s creepy! Really, really creepy! Gadalkand’s head is freaking me out! I get it, I get it, I understand! We’re even! No need to worry about the promise! J-just stop! I don’t wanna kiss Gadalkand!” 

Hearing those words, Snow finally tosses Gadalkand’s head aside. I growl in irritation and vent my frustration at her. 

“Unbelievable! I figured it’d be something like this! You’re just like Astaroth! All women are the same! They use you when they need you; then when it comes time to return the favor, they cry and change the subject! Idiot! Moron! Ever since the day we met, I haven’t liked you one bit! Just leave and join the—” 

Something soft presses against my lips, cutting off my fiery rant. 

Snow’s quieted me with her own lips. 

Even if I wasn’t still on cooldown, I’d be too shocked to move. Snow pulls away with a blush on her cheeks. 

“Forgive me… This is all I can do for now…” 

My brain still hasn’t finished processing the sudden event, and I remain silent. 

“I—I don’t dislike that y-you like me… And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered by your desire to bed me… But I just don’t understand this whole love and hate thing. Even so…” 

Snow’s white skin flushes pink. 

“I don’t hate you as much as when I first met you. I’m still very inexperienced, but…I’d like to take the time to think through my feelings for you…” 

She looks at me with a soft, gentle smile. 

…………? 

“Wait, what the hell are you talking about? Why are you making it sound like I’m in love with you or something? Creepy!” 

……… 

“…Huh?” 

“No ‘huh’ about it. How did you get it in your head that I loved you? I don’t remember ever saying anything to that effect.” 

Snow tries to process my words and looks at me in confusion, as though she doesn’t understand what I’m saying. 

“…B-but I thought you wanted to s-sleep with me…” 

“Well, yeah. Your face and body are definitely my type, so I just wanted a quick fling. No strings attached. Yikes, don’t make me say this out loud. I thought it was obvious. As for dating you? Give me a break; I’d never want to go out with someone like you. I mean, you’re quick to draw your sword and attack me, your ambition outweighs everything else, and you’re cheap as hell. What exactly is there to like about you? And really, you think you can get away with just a kiss…?” 

As the words come flying out of my mouth, I note a sudden change in Snow’s demeanor and clam up. 

“Haaaa……aaaaa……aaahhh……” 

Snow has gone from blushing like a bride to taking deep breaths while holding back tears. 

She looks like she’s trying really hard to contain something. 

It reminds me of how a toddler pauses before going into a full-blown crying fit. 

Snow’s hand trembles, and her armor rattles slightly as she reaches for her sword. 

“…Calm down, Snow. Let’s talk this over like grown-ups. Look, I can’t move right now. If you lose control and attack me, I’m going to die.” 

“Haaaa……aaaaa……aaahhh……” 

Snow appears to understand what I’m saying, doing her best to hold back the emotions that threaten to overwhelm her. Her body shakes as she fights to hold it all in. 

Unfortunately, for all her efforts, her hand slowly grasps at the hilt of her blade… 

“Hold it in just a little longer, Snow. I’m sorry; I was being way too harsh. But you know, if you kill me after making me go through all this effort, it’ll completely ruin the taste of victory. You can contain this; I know you can! Just take deep breaths and count out prime numbers.” 

“O-one…three…f-five…s-s-s-seven…” 

<Cooldown complete. Power armor reinitialized.> 

I take off in a mad dash toward the stairs. Snow gives chase, screaming and crying at the same time. 

“Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!” 

Snow’s war cry sounds like a giant tantrum. 

I urge my legs to run faster as the berserker chases me through the castle. 

“Release Restraints! RELEASE RESTRAINTS!!” 

I let out a hoarse cry as I flee. 

“All right, I guess we’re done here.” 

It’s gotten quite late. Just before midnight, by the look of it. 

With the Demon Army gone, there’s no reason for us to stay here. 

“Sir Six…thank you for all that you’ve done. I didn’t expect you to go to such lengths for our kingdom. Truly, you have my gratitude.” 

“If you really are thankful, there are ways you can show your appreciation, you know? Make sure you put my name in this kingdom’s history books and let future generations know what I’ve done.” 

Tillis smiles, then nods a bit shyly at my remark. 

I’ve grown so used to seeing her as the malevolent power behind the throne that the sudden change in mannerisms catches me off guard. 

…Or maybe it’s just the sudden relief as her kingdom is saved from the brink of extinction that gave me a glimpse under her mask. 

With such an incompetent father as a king, she probably feels an added responsibility to be strong for the kingdom’s sake. That probably manifests itself as the whole iron-fist-in-a-velvet-glove persona. 

The princess pauses a moment, pursing her lips like she’s about to say something. 

“…Um, Sir Six. I’m aware that you have another mission to attend to. However, do you think I could perhaps convince you to become a knight of this kingdom once again…?” 

In response to Tillis’s halting request, I slowly shake my head. 

“Well. Honestly, I’m tired of this knight stuff. Babysitting these weirdos was exhausting.” 

Tillis smiles sadly, as though she anticipated my answer. She can’t quite keep all the disappointment hidden, however. 

As for two of my former subordinates who hear the remark… 

“Weirdos?! Are you talking about us?! How rude! Don’t make me bite you, Boss!” 

“So you do all those things with me, Commander, and you’re just going to walk away…? Take responsibility for what you did to my body!” 

“Phrasing! Watch the phrasing, Grimm; you’re giving people the wrong idea! I bought you a new wheelchair, and we went for a few joyrides! That’s it— Ow! Rose, I’m sorry I called you a weirdo! Stop biting me! Stop!” 

I peel Rose off my back before she can chew on me anymore, and then I make preparations to leave. 

“…………” 

There’s a silent Snow standing behind me. 

“…? Well? Say something. You’re kind of intimidating, just standing there without a word.” 

Snow continues to stare at me in silence. I guess she’s still mad about earlier. 

“…Hey. Are you really never coming back?” 

Great. She finally speaks, and those are the first words out of her mouth. 

“You don’t need to threaten me. I’ll stay far away unless invited!” 

In response to my usual banter, Snow takes a deep breath. 

“…S-so are you going back to your country?” 

“Of course. A certain someone here is likely to take my head off my shoulders if I stay. Besides, we’ve pretty much accomplished our objectives.” 

Snow nods her head briefly. “……I see.” 

“…Just spit it out already! Where’s your usual spice? If you have something to say, just say it. I need to go meet Alice soon.” 

Snow clenches her hands into fists, pursing her lips. “…C-currently, our kingdom’s taken heavy losses in our war against the Demon Lord’s Army. So we’re currently seeking people who can command units or fight battles.” 

“…………And?” 

She pauses, as if weighing whether to say the next part. “…I don’t care what you are or who you really are anymore. If you don’t want to be a knight because you want to avoid annoying subordinates like me, well…we could hire you as a mercenary……” 

The longer she continues, the tamer and more hesitant Snow’s words become. 

Seems she still feels a little guilt for driving me off that first time. 

“So you want people who can fight?” 

“Y-yes. But that doesn’t mean we’ll take just anyone……” 

When did she lose that confidence and sass anyway? 

……Sheesh, she’s a handful however you look at it. I can see why she’d get demoted to the reject squad. 

A brief glance shows me something else. 

Snow’s not the only one giving me puppy dog eyes and begging me to stay. 

Everyone around me, from my two former subordinates to Tillis herself are looking at me with hope and anticipation in their eyes. 

Geez, these people really are needy. 

Of course I’ll fight. It’s my job. And there’s plenty of battles waiting to be fought on this planet. 

This kingdom needs people who can fight, huh? 

Then I should take full advantage and corner the market. 

I turn to the women in front of me and say in my best sales rep voice: 

“One Combat Agent, at your service!”