Combatants Will Be Dispatched - Volume 1 - Chapter 1.1

CHAPTER 1 

 Spies Will Be Dispatched! 

1 

The Kisaragi Corporation. A global corporation known to every man, woman, and child on Earth. And I’m sitting here in a conference room in the very heart of its company headquarters. 

“—That about covers the basics. I trust you have no questions, Agent Six?” 

“Got it, Agent Six?” 

“I think I misheard you. Would you mind going over that again?” 

The faces in front of me sigh, presumably in exasperation at how thickheaded I’m proving to be. 

“…Very well. Agent Six, your assignment will be to infiltrate the target as an advance scout for the Kisaragi Corporation. Your mission will be to survey the local fauna. If you encounter any aboriginal inhabitants, you are to gather intelligence on their military capabilities. Your overall objective will be to assess whether the target has the resources and territory with sufficient strategic value to justify an invasion.” 

“…I see.” 

The mission makes perfect sense. It’s something I’ve done countless times before. 

“Your target will be an alien world. You got that?” 

“Yeah, you got that?” 

“…No, I can’t say I do,” I immediately reply, and the expressions of the pair in front of me sour in puzzlement. 

The first is Astaroth the Ice Queen. A slender woman with hip-length black hair that shimmers like obsidian. She possesses an ethereal, otherworldly beauty that inspires fear more than anything else. 

The other is Belial the Great Flame. A flame-haired bombshell, she dresses in an outfit that leaves little to the imagination. 

The Ice Queen and the Great Flame both have a preference for skimpy clothing and share a hobby of using their unique titles in daily conversation. 

Astaroth the Ice Queen lets out another sigh, preparing to describe my assignment for the third time in as many minutes. 

“…Just what is it that you fail to grasp here, Agent Six? There’s nothing about this mission that should cause you any confusion. All I’m telling you to do is to infiltrate the target as a spy.” 

I notice Belial the Great Flame nodding along in agreement. 

“I understand the mission. But you keep losing me at the ‘alien world’ part. Look, I’ve learned to play along with your cosplay outfits and corny titles…but I’ve gotta admit…a pair of grown women going on about alien worlds is a bit much, even for me.” 

“H-how…how dare you call our uniforms cosplay outfits?!” 

“Tacky…?! Agent Six, is that how you’ve thought of us all this time?!” 

The pair in front of me flush and become noticeably more animated. 

“Well, I mean…it’s not exactly rare for the two of you to make statements that are a bit…out there. But you’re breaking new ground today. Have you been watching too much of those isekai anime about people being reincarnated in other worlds?” 

“Silence! That is enough of your impudence. You are aware that we, the Kisaragi Corporation, are nearing our goal of world domination, correct?” 

“Well, yes, of course.” 

I try not to notice the bulging vein on Astaroth’s forehead as she patiently resumes her explanation. 

World domination. For the Kisaragi Corporation, this doesn’t refer to dominating a particular industry or market. It’s literal, and Kisaragi happily describes itself as an evil secret society on the “about us” page. The corporation’s primary business is the planning and execution of evil schemes. 

As for me, well, I started working here as a Combat Agent while in high school. Soon after they hired me, they cut me open and installed some weird body enhancements, making me a glorified errand boy—a role I’ve been stuck in ever since. 

Ordinarily, you expect a corporation to retain plausible deniability about aiming for world domination, but we became so big that we stopped trying to keep it a secret a long time ago. We’re now a multinational criminal organization, focusing on mayhem, death, destruction, and plunder. There isn’t a military force on the planet powerful enough to oppose us, and I’ve been told that the handful of countries holding out hope with economic sanctions were on their last legs. 

“Very well. Now, what do you imagine will happen to you operatives when we finish conquering the world?” 

I don’t understand what Astaroth is asking, and I tilt my head. 

“…? We, of course, become the new rulers of the world and indulge in a life of decadence and debauchery, right?” 

“No, you fool. We’re looking at a massive restructuring of the organization.” 

““…Say what?”” 

Belial and I respond with one voice to Astaroth’s response. 

“…Restructuring? Is that your way of saying you’re gonna start firing people?” 

“That’s right.” 

The conference room goes deathly quiet. 

“…Wait, wait, what? You can’t just… After all that I’ve done for you! You coldhearted bitch! First, you make me do all your dirty work, and now you’re just gonna toss me aside?! I’m basically unemployable and undatable given all the modifications you’ve made to my body. You owe me. So let me move in with you! Please! I promise I’ll make a good house husband!” 

“Hey, am I on the chopping block, too?! Is my position as the Supreme Leader in charge of military operations going to get eliminated?!” 

Both Belial and I cling to Astaroth, but true to her title, the Ice Queen doesn’t so much as flinch… 

“Calm down, both of you… H-hey! Agent Six! I’ll explain the plan! Just don’t grab my top! It’s slipping! Stop, stop, stop! My outfit’s too skimpy to be pulled like that!” 

…Astaroth pulls away from us, panting in panic, wrapping her arms protectively around her top to hold it in place. She scrambles away with teary eyes to secure some personal space. 

“I can’t believe you two. Listen! First, Belial, you’re one of the Supreme Leaders in this corporation. Your job is safe. We will still need a military after we finish our conquest. As for you, Agent Six…” 

Belial lets out a sigh of relief, but I, the lackey, find nothing reassuring about Astaroth’s answer. As if reading my mind, Astaroth shifts her gaze to me. 

“Unlike Belial, you’re just one soldier in our great army. With that said, you have been with us since the very beginning. Whatever your title, we consider you one of our own and think of you as part of our leadership.” 

“…Does that mean I can get a raise? I’ve been working here since I was in high school, but my pay hasn’t changed since I was a temp.” 

“However! If we provide special treatment only to you and ignore the other operatives, we risk alienating the rank-and-file members and having the corporation fall to pieces.” 

Astaroth makes no indication that she heard anything about my pay as she continues her spiel. 

“…Then how will you decide who stays and who gets canned? If you say, ‘By drawing lots,’ I’m gonna give you a taste of the modifications you’ve made to me.” 

“F-fool, that’s why we’re talking about your new assignment!” 

Apparently recognizing that my patience was wearing thin, Astaroth backs up into a defensive crouch. 

“Basically, Agent Six, the idea is that once we conquer Earth, we look for another planet to attack. The layoffs were new, but we’ve been discussing our next target for a while now. We have to govern what we’ve conquered, and without a war on, there’s no money to spend on an excessive military,” Belial adds from next to Astaroth. 

“So that’s why you’re going on about alien worlds? But we don’t have the technology to get there. If we had that kinda tech, I’d have fled to the planet of big-breasted beauties by now. We’d have to start by getting people to Mars or Venus,” I say to them with a pitying glance. 

“…We should continue this discussion in Lilith’s room. Come with us, Agent Six.” 

Astaroth, with her icy visage back in place, turns on her heel and leaves the room. The most I can do is tilt my head in confusion and follow. 

The third of Kisaragi’s three Supreme Leaders is Lilith the Black. Her lair at Kisaragi headquarters, a research laboratory, is always filled with machinery with no clear purpose. Yet, today my eye catches a new object in the center of the room. 

“Agent Six, do you know what this is?” Astaroth asks, waving her palm toward a jumble of large technological equipment attached to a great glass pod. 

“It…looks like a teleporter straight out of a sci-fi movie.” 

As soon as the observation leaves my mouth, I hear the lab owner call out in reply, “A keen observation, Agent Six! You’re certainly sharp for a meathead!” 

The harsh appraiser of my intellect is a beautiful young woman with dark hair in a bowl cut and dressed in a white lab coat as she triumphantly struts around the object. Lilith the Black, the Kisaragi Corporation’s resident mad scientist and the one who applied the various modifications to my body. 

“Wait, you’re serious…? You’ve actually achieved teleportation? With a pile of junk like this?” 

“Junk, you say? How rude! This is the answer to humanity’s prayers. A magnificent device that will solve every problem plaguing our world today. One of my greatest inventions if I do say so myself!” 

The ordinarily taciturn and antisocial Lilith is in a fine mood. Even Astaroth’s poker face cracks a little, thin frown lines creasing her brow. 

“A lab coat again, Lilith? You are one of the leaders of this organization. You should wear the proper uniform every once in a while.” 

“You’re kidding, right? Why would I want to expose myself like that? I’ll go ahead and say it—Astaroth, you and Belial look like you’re auditioning for a cosplay porno.” 

“Oh, good, I’m not the only one who thought so!” I comment. 

““Wh-what?!”” 

It appears this observation is news to Astaroth and Belial, who freeze in place…which, honestly, is the least of my concerns right now. 

“…So this is an actual working teleporter? That’s…one hell of an invention. I figured the people in the organization calling you the world’s greatest scientist were just sucking up to you. Your lab always did seem like a black hole that just ate up our budget.” 

“…I—I see that you’re still not afraid to voice your opinion.” 

Ignoring the tomboy nerd’s forced smile, I continue examining the pod. 

“How does this relate to my assignment?” 

I tilt my head in curiosity. Lilith’s face brightens at my question. 

“Do you believe in aliens?” 

“I bet they exist, but it’s not something I’ve spent too much time thinking about.” 

The corporation counts mutants among its ranks, and then there’s those oddities called Heroes. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were other things out there, given the size of the universe. 

“To date, modern science has confirmed the presence of thousands of planets similar to Earth. They have things like water, atmospheres, and what appears to be plant life. These planets are at the right distance from their stars, are the right size, and made of the right material…and so this is a reward for all the hard work you put in each and every day.” 

…Reward? 

At my puzzled expression, Lilith turns to stare intently at me. 

“Think about it. There is literally an astronomical number of stars in this universe. Billions of stars with planets like Earth. There are so many worlds that counting them is a waste of time.” 

Lilith grows more reverential and animated, sweeping her arms outward in a grand gesture as she continues her sermon. 

“And with these infinite worlds come infinite possibilities. Worlds where the inhabitants are still in the primal stages. Worlds that have made wondrous technological advancements. There’s even the possibility that some of them have actual magic, like the swords and sorcery books you’re so fond of. Don’t you want to explore those possibilities?” 

“So there might be worlds where everyone adores me without question or I’m the very image of beauty or, heck, I’m the only man, and this teleporter will help take me there? I’m sold. Fire it up.” 

Lilith edges away at my monologue, gesturing toward the back of the laboratory. 

“E-excellent. I’m glad you’re so eager to go. Of course, we won’t be sending you in alone… Come on in, Alice.” 

A little blue-eyed, blond-haired girl dressed in a white flowered dress enters the room in response to Lilith’s summons. 

She looks like a sixth grader. 

She’s carrying an enormous backpack much too large for her small body, wobbling slightly with each step. 

“Who’s the brat? I should probably mention that I hate kids.” 

“Just who are you calling a brat? You’re not exactly royalty yourself.” 

……… 

“…Oh-ho? Is this what we’re doing? Who does this damned brat think she is? I’m a soldier for an evil organization. No one mouths off like that to the Kisaragi Corporation and gets away with it.” 

“If you attack me, my reactor core will melt down and vaporize everything within a considerable radius. If that’s what you’re after, be my guest. And my designation is not ‘damned brat,’ it’s ‘high-spec pretty-girl android.’” 

…An android? Seriously? 

I suppose that explains why the girl seems…off. Now that it’s been said out loud, I can kind of see it. 

“Well, it looks like you two will get along splendidly. Let me give you a proper introduction. This girl is Alice. She’s a high-spec android specifically designed to support you. She ranks up there with the teleporter as one of my greatest inventions.” 

“Unlike you disposable lackeys, the corporation has spent an enormous sum of money on my development. You’d better take care of me. I’ve been warned you’re a meathead. Leave the thinking to me.” 

“…Can I return her? I don’t really need a dangerous, mouthy pile of junk following me around.” 

I check my equipment, stepping in front of the pod. 

The comforting weight of my trusty sidearm on my right hip. Plenty of spare magazines on my belt. On my left hip rests my lucky combat knife, purchased with a bonus I got a few years back. 

If I’m being honest, the whole set doesn’t really amount to much, considering I’m walking blindly into an alien world… 

“Well, I see you’ve made your peace with going.” 

Astaroth has recovered from the shock of being called a cosplay porn star, and her icy expression has been replaced with a gentle smile. 

…It’s the smile that charmed me into signing up with a shady company calling itself an evil organization after that complete con of a recruiting poster tricked me into applying. 

The smile that convinced me it was worth it to participate in evil schemes and take on the entire world. 

“I’ll go. I’ll go! I mean…I’m the one you chose out of all the corporation’s Combat Agents to represent Kisaragi in this new world, right?” 

Astaroth, of course, backs me up enthusiastica…lly? 

“Huh…? O-of course! Most certainly! There’s no one else we could trust with such an important assignment!” 

“Wait…how did you pick who to send? Belial? How did you choose the scouting party?” 

I ask Belial, still sulking in the corner, rather than the unconvincing Astaroth. 

“They’re not skanky… The Supreme Leader outfits aren’t skanky…hmm? The scouting party? Astaroth rolled a die…” 

“We’re counting on you, Agent Six! N-now go on. There’s not a moment to waste!” 

Astaroth interrupts Belial and shoves me toward the pod. 

…When I get back, I’m going to demand a Supreme Leader–level salary. Just you wait. 

“Oh yes, I almost forgot. If you need any weapons or other supplies, write down the request and send it with this mini-teleporter. The chips we’ve implanted in you and Alice will let us know your coordinates.” 

Lilith gives what I assume is supposed to be a reassuring smile, then hands Alice and me a pair of devices resembling wristwatches. 

Well, that takes care of my concerns about equipment. So long as I have access to Kisaragi Corporation equipment, it really doesn’t matter where they end up sending me. 

The mouthy pile of junk follows me into the pod. 

“What was your name again? Alice? You mentioned your reactor might melt down if you get hit. You sure you can handle this? I can’t have you blowing up on me.” 

“Isn’t it the dream of every evil minion to self-destruct and take the enemy with them? Don’t worry yourself. Evidently, I was built to support you, so you ending up dead is out of the question. I’ll make sure to pick the right time and place to explode.” 

That’s not reassuring. I’d rather she not self-destruct at all. 

“Agent Six.” 

Astaroth calls to me with the cold expression worthy of her title…which is quickly replaced by a look of concern. 

“…Well…you’ve been with us since you were still in school. As I mentioned earlier, I consider you to be one of this organization’s Supreme Leaders. It’s true.” 

This is hardly the place or time for this. It’s true that I started working here as a part-timer back in my first year of high school. It didn’t take long for us to conquer half the world. One minute we were facing off against various militaries, the next we had spandex-clad weirdos calling themselves Heroes coming after us. We even faced off against a giant robot made of smaller interlocking robots, which was as big a waste of technology as I’ve ever seen. This whole situation has been utterly ridiculous and terrifyingly dangerous. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve threatened to quit…but still… 

“I’ve enjoyed my time with everyone here at the corporation. I’m even looking forward to this next assignment in spite of everything. I can’t promise I’ll come back safely, but I’ll do my best not to disappoint you. When I do get back, would you mind giving me a decent raise?” 

“You fool. That’s where you’re supposed to swear you’ll make it back home. The three of us will be waiting to welcome you home. In fact, when you get back, we’ll promote you to the fourth Supreme Leader… The Four Supreme Leaders, or perhaps the Elite Four has a good ring to it.” 

Astaroth’s lips curl in a daring smile at my reminiscing. I don’t have the heart to tell her that at nearly twenty years of age I’m a bit too old to call myself a member of something like the Elite Four. 

“Sigh… I wish I could go. You’re so lucky, Agent Six. I should’ve sneaked in the weighted die.” 

“…Weighted die? Belial, you were on the list of candidates?” 

Belial laughs as though my question was particularly absurd. 

“Of course! Astaroth would go on a one or two, I would go on a three or four, Lilith on a five, and you on a six. Astaroth made it pretty clear we had to pick from a small list of trusted people, so that’s how we came up with that list. Of course, when your name came up, she threw a fit, insisting it was too dangerous, and demanded that she go instead.” 

“V-very well! Are you prepared, Agent Six? I will now formally give you your assignment!” 

Astaroth, flushing from her face to her ears, interrupts Belial’s little story with a hurriedly off-pitch order. 

Aw, so they really do consider me a member of the inner circle. And they’re worried about me, too. …Sniff. Huh, there must be something in my nose. 

Astaroth tries to compose herself even as her cheeks stay stubbornly flushed. 

“…Astaroth, do you mind if I give you a hug?” 

“Here is your assignment! Your mission is twofold. First, secure a base of operations, assemble a teleporter at this base, establish two-way travel from between the target to Earth, and return safely. This task will primarily be Alice’s responsibility.” 

Belial smirks as Astaroth tries vainly to dodge my question. 

“Agent Six, this sort of occasion calls for more than a hug. Kiss her already. I’m sure Astaroth wouldn’t mind…” 

“Don’t you dare, unless you want to be frozen! We’re getting off topic… Your second objective is to gather intelligence on local military forces, resources, and soil. This objective is intended to determine if the target is a suitable solution to pressing issues such as continued employment for our Combat Agents, food shortages due to population growth, land pollution due to war, and the reduction of habitable land due to rising sea levels. You are to determine if the target planet is suitable for human colonization.” 

…Huh? 

“This assignment… It’s not just about the future of our organization, is it? It’s one that concerns the fate of Earth and even humanity itself.” 

“Of course. That’s why failure isn’t an option. I mean, if you fail at this assignment, you’ll be stuck there, so be careful. As Lilith said earlier, if you have any need for equipment, make a request in writing. For now, it’ll have to be small enough to fit in the pod.” 

…Ah. So the corporation will back us up and provide unlimited use of company equipment. 

“Also…make sure to send a progress report at least once a week… Let me know how you’re doing, all right?” 

That smile again. 

Before I can throw my arms around her, Astaroth kicks me into the pod. 

“…All right, then. All set?” 

With Alice and me inside the pod, Lilith goes through the final preparations. 

Next to her, Astaroth has her eyes focused on the ground in front of her, arms crossed across her chest. Belial clings to the glass pod, staring intently at me as though trying to etch my features into her memory. 

“Uh…could you maybe back up a little? The staring is making me nervous.” 

At my remark, Astaroth looks up. “…Right. You’re right, of course. Now that you’ve made up your mind, having us fuss over you is just going to make you anxious… I’m praying for your safe return, Agent Six.” 

Astaroth looks at me as though she’s never going to see me again. 

“You’re blowing this all out of proportion. I won’t be gone too long. I mean so long as we find a suitable building, we’ll have a teleporter up and running before you know it. Then we can just zip back and forth.” 

“Sorry, can’t help it. We’re not even sure if the teleporter works properly.” 

Despite my attempt at levity, there’s a sadness to Belial’s gaze. 

“There’s nothing to worry about. Lilith wouldn’t make something that doesn’t work. She’s the world’s greatest inventor, right?” 

““………”” 

Astaroth and Belial exchange a wordless glance. Next to them, Lilith silently continues the preparations. 

“Um, Lilith…? Just what is the success rate with teleportation? How many times have you used this thing? When you say you’re sending us to a known planet, are you able to place us accurately onto the surface?” 

“The success rate for teleportation is currently at one hundred percent. The number of attempts is classified. So are details about the accuracy of the teleportation process.” 

“Um…on second thought. I’d like to decline this mission.” 

Alice grabs hold of my arm as I try to get out of the pod. 

“Hey! Let go of me, you piece of junk. I need to step outside the pod for a minute.” 

“What are you so afraid of, lackey? Did you forget to make a backup this morning?” 

…What is this junk pile going on about? 

“…You do understand that humans can’t just save and load from a backup, right? And if you don’t stop calling me lackey, you’re going to suffer an unfortunate accident when we reach our destination.” 

“Thtop ith! Leth goff oth my theek! You’re gointh to thretch my thkin! I’ll stop calling you lackey if you call me Miss Alice.” 

“Well, this isn’t getting anywhere. We may as well send them out now.” 

As I pull on Alice’s cheek, Lilith makes her chilling remark, and the pod begins to fill with smoke. 

“Wh-what’s going on? Lilith? What’s with this weird smoke?” 

“Ah. We’re making sure we’re killing off any microbes and viruses that might be stuck to you and Alice to avoid infecting the natives. Oh, bear in mind that you’re not allowed to come back if you get infected by something while you’re over there,” Lilith adds. 

I make an effort to break out of the pod, but Alice keeps me from making contact with the glass. 

“…Agent Six! With your enhanced body and your power armor, you should be able to handle any environment you find yourself in. We’re praying for your safe return.” 

“We believe in you, Agent Six! Don’t forget to bring back souvenirs!” 

“Wait, wait, wait! Shouldn’t we take a bit more time to test all this? Come on, now!” 

I shout vainly in response to Astaroth’s and Belial’s good-byes. 

“Listen, Agent Six. To date, this device has a hundred percent success rate. But if we keep testing it, there might be accidents, and the success rate will fall under one hundred percent. If the success rate goes down, that puts you at an increased risk.” 

…I take a moment to think through Lilith’s logic. 

“What the hell are you going on about?! That risk calculation makes no sense! There’s no way you’re a genius inventor! You’re nowhere near that fine line between genius and insanity! You’re just a mad scientist!” 

“You need to learn a little restraint when you’re upset. There’s no one else on this Earth who would say something so rude to a woman of my intellect. Anyhow, enjoy your trip, Agent Six! Don’t forget to write!” 

Lilith breezily activates the teleporter…! 

“You tomboy nerd! I’ll be back for my reven—!!”