Adachi to Shimamura - Volume SS1 - Chapter 7

A Girl with Privilege

MY FIRST THOUGHT was that she was the kind of girl you could describe in just one word: beautiful. What was so beautiful about her? Everything. Not the most verbose answer, but then again, you couldn’t say much about someone who was sleeping.

First, there was her dark, glossy hair, fine and well-moisturized. I didn’t know whether she had a hair care routine, but in all regards, hers was in much better condition than mine. Her relaxed, parted lips were pale, as though kissed by youth itself; looking at them now, it was hard to envision their usual flustered flapping, to say nothing of the unintelligible sounds they often made. And though her eyes were closed at the moment, they were a striking shade of blue, like two bottomless underground lakes. Gazing into them had a funny way of sending a crisp breeze racing through my heart, clearing out all the stagnant air. 

Put simply, beauty had the power to energize someone.

Compared to Adachi’s, most faces appeared clumsily constructed—or was I just biased? At any rate, she was gorgeous. At least, I was pretty sure I remembered hearing people at school describe her that way. Or did I merely want to believe that? Was I just hoping to brag about having a pretty girlfriend? I scratched my head. 

Not only was Adachi beautiful, she had a great personality too. She supposedly had a tendency to come off as rude, but I suspected I’d never witness that quality for myself. I was only ever privy to one version of Adachi: passionate and a little insecure, but fully committed. Though her eyes danced away from me at times, they always found their way back, sparkling as naturally as she drew breath. To me, the intensity of her gaze alone expressed every aspect of her character.

Her entire face was simply perfect. Objectively speaking, she was much better looking than I was, though she would aggressively deny that if I said it aloud. Frankly, I was lucky to be in a position to admire her up close as she slept—and that was an opportunity afforded exclusively to me, no less. 

Whenever Adachi spent the night at my house, I typically fell asleep first, but this time she’d beaten me to the punch. Her pale skin practically glowed in the dark room. That struck me as beautiful too. In fact, breathing steadily with her eyes closed, she seemed like a different person altogether. 

Part of me felt guilty about driving such a pretty girl to act so oddly, but it wasn’t really my fault. Whenever our eyes met, she flinched in surprise, her gaze darting to and fro, almost as if she’d just encountered a monster in the woods. For her, every day was a new adventure teeming with excitement, fear, and yearning. But if I was a demon from the abyss, then she was a greater demon with the power to swallow me whole. I was merely a tasty treat she hoarded for herself. 

At times I wondered, Why me? A girl as pretty as Adachi could reel in anyone she set her sights on, and I’d only ever known one other person whose beauty could possibly compare to hers. Did the two of them even fall into the same category? The same archetype? Neither seemed likely. It takes all kinds to make a world, I guess, I mused to myself wistfully. Yashiro was flawlessly sculpted too, but in a much different way; her beauty was quite literally out of this world. 

I was getting off track. Squeezing my eyes and lips shut, I struggled to think through my musings clearly. 

Adachi was a girl with infinite options, and there were lots of pretty ladies out there. She could have so much eye candy, it’d give her a toothache. Really, if one of us had reason to worry about cheating, it was me—not that I was worried, but maybe I should’ve been! 

Was I even the jealous type, though? I decided to test that. As I lay in bed, I reached a hand into the air and stared blankly at my outstretched fingers. At the same time, I imagined Adachi walking down the street, smiling at someone else. 

Just like that, it felt as though someone had ripped a piece of my soul out with their bare hands. It would hurt too much to even look at the gaping hole left behind.

“Hunh. Wow.”

It was interesting to see how my feelings had evolved. Smiling, I nuzzled my face into the pillow and closed my eyes. But the useless lump attached to my shoulders burned too hot, so I slid a leg from beneath the blanket and unclenched my fist, tortured by the sensation still lingering on my palm.

Of course, I could simply have acknowledged that I was embarrassed. Instead, though, I took the scenic route. Maybe that was just how embarrassment worked—you yearned for something pure and beautiful, but were never able to approach it directly, which forced you to circle it. At what point had I lost the courage to walk in a straight line? If I could do that before, why couldn’t I do it now? 

Going forward, I wanted to try to follow my heart, like Adachi did. Well…not exactly like she did, since that would be a nightmare, but somewhere in between. 

Of all the countless people in this massive world, Adachi had chosen me. She probably hadn’t even hesitated. She’d offered me her hand, and I took it. Now we walked side by side, surrounded by the unknowable, our hearts filled with scarlet passion.

“I guess it tastes like destiny after all…”

Emboldened by my privilege, I reached out, fingers combing through the night until they reached hers. Since she was asleep, I had nothing to be ashamed of… But, since she was asleep, she didn’t grasp my hand in return.

Aww.