Vortex
I LOVE SHIMAMURA.
“Love…”
I buried my face in my knees, and a long, muffled sigh pushed past my tense lips. As I swayed back and forth, my emotions swayed with me. I wasn’t crying, yet my cheeks felt warm—a wet heat entirely distinct from that of the surrounding summer. It made my eyes fuzzy, almost like I was adrift at sea.
“God, I love her… I love…love…”
As if I were sleep-talking, my feelings tumbled out. Oddly enough, this tended to happen far more often when she wasn’t around to hear. Maybe my heart was reaching out to bridge the distance between us or something. But now, I could revel in the fact that Shimamura loved me back.
My fingers tightened against my legs, and I heaved another sigh. Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw her—proof that I was terminally smitten, yes, but I was happy. I was definitely a terminal case, though. That could be why I didn’t get much sleep at night. Maybe, in my case, health and happiness simply couldn’t coexist.
Lately, Shimamura seemed more mellow—and consequently, more beautiful than ever before. When she smiled at me, her eyes twinkled as if I were the sun. Just thinking about that struck me like a meteor—that is, it made me slam my face into my pillow.
What was it I loved so much about her? She was utter perfection, down to every last hair on her head, so it was impossible to make a rational assessment… On second thought, no, maybe that was rational. Objectively speaking, Shimamura was constantly radiant. Yeah, that’s it. I felt my fingers and toes tremble in agreement.
I like her because she’s shiny? What am I, a crow? I thought, flopping down on my bed. Well, hold on—surely I’d still like her even if she weren’t shiny, right? Ugh, what am I even thinking about?!
Unable to lie still, I tossed and turned, sighing over and over. Ever since I met Shimamura, it had felt as though I was tumbling down an endless stone staircase, hitting every sharp edge on the way. Everything blurred together so fast, I scarcely even registered the pain.
At first, I thought maybe that was normal, but when I’d stopped to look around, it quickly became apparent that it was just me. I was the only one falling head over heels for Shimamura, and that honor made me feel more alive than any bump or bruise.
Resting my chin on the pillow, I thought about how much I missed her…and the next thing I knew, I was reaching for the phone, my elbow propped up, out of the fervent desire to see her. As I raised the phone to my ear, the breath I was holding slipped out in a weird grunt. Then…
“Oh…”
The moment I reached Shimamura and heard her exhale on the other end, my field of vision lit up—as though I’d passed through a dark tunnel into a whole new world. Her sparkle was simply too contagious.
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